"Parson needs boy":
What he read in the back of the news.
Classified line--
"No need to bring your own wine."

"I would get bored
Lordin' catechism over you.
That isn't fair
We'll kneel in mutual prayer.

"Believe that penance brings salvation,
Chow wafers--what a chore?
Ream a Capuchine? I've been there--a ballin' bore.
Sinner, make the sign, yeah,
While I get behind ya
I've got a hankerin' to align your spine, yeah.

"Let me get the missal goin', then raise the bar
Don't know yet if Benny, he'll crack down from afar
Shovelin' the pole
After I'm de-stolin'
Wooin' you in the pew, I'm no card'.

"There's gonna be
A curtained padre at the Station
Latin--which case
Should I use in 'full of grace'?
I don't know why
We must kowtow to a fella from Rome
So I'll back you in the pew
And then I'll chew, chew ya 'home'--
A la 'Goin' Home' by the Stones. . .
A la gorge
I will take my cell phone off Rome.
Stall the tone
Sorry that this wine isn't Rhône
I'll atone.
Let's play 'horesy': I'll ride the roan.
Corralled roan
Lads I do choose, 'cause they ain't roein'
Can't be roein'
My oar is huge--better get rowin'."