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Song Parodies -> "Drunk, Santa's Soused, Crocked"
Original Song Title:
"Up on the Housetop"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Drunk, Santa's Soused, Crocked"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
Drunk, Santa's soused, crocked. Through his jaws,
He poured white port without pause.
Probably polished off a carboy.*
He has got liquid courage and joy.
"Ho, ho ho!" See Santa go,
Go through whole case of Bordeaux-eaux.
Drunk, Santa's soused, crocked. Drink, drink, drink!
Until he sees reindeer that are pink.
Off to the bar, where he hits the well
Drinks. "Another round!" he'll yell.
"I'm sittin' here feelin' mighty dry,
Set me up now, or I'll punch your eye!"
"Ho, ho ho!" Santa should go,
Go, go, go on the booze slo-ow.
Drunk, Santa's soused, crocked. Drink, drink, drink!
Bellicose thoughts he's startin' to think.
After he's finished, he gets the bill.
It's very big; many drinks he'd swilled.
He gets enraged, goes on the attack,
Gives the barkeep an ocular smack.
"Oh, oh, oh!" barkeep does moan,
Goes, goes, goes, guy to the pho-one:
9-1-1; barkeep blinks, blinks, blinks--
Cops come and throw Santa in the clink.
*a large container for liquids
He poured white port without pause.
Probably polished off a carboy.*
He has got liquid courage and joy.
"Ho, ho ho!" See Santa go,
Go through whole case of Bordeaux-eaux.
Drunk, Santa's soused, crocked. Drink, drink, drink!
Until he sees reindeer that are pink.
Off to the bar, where he hits the well
Drinks. "Another round!" he'll yell.
"I'm sittin' here feelin' mighty dry,
Set me up now, or I'll punch your eye!"
"Ho, ho ho!" Santa should go,
Go, go, go on the booze slo-ow.
Drunk, Santa's soused, crocked. Drink, drink, drink!
Bellicose thoughts he's startin' to think.
After he's finished, he gets the bill.
It's very big; many drinks he'd swilled.
He gets enraged, goes on the attack,
Gives the barkeep an ocular smack.
"Oh, oh, oh!" barkeep does moan,
Goes, goes, goes, guy to the pho-one:
9-1-1; barkeep blinks, blinks, blinks--
Cops come and throw Santa in the clink.
*a large container for liquids
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| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
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(snorts with laughter) guess the old coot won't be delivering presents this year! 5's
and you thought it was rudolph that had the red nose
Gets nip-py in the North Pole, eh? 555
Three 5ths of booze, very good.
Thanks, Carol, Alvin, Rick, Stephen.
More funny stuff
Hic!
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