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Song Parodies -> "Oprah’s Grub Is Scones, Cream, Tarts"

Original Song Title:

"Owner of a Lonely Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Yes

Parody Song Title:

"Oprah’s Grub Is Scones, Cream, Tarts"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Food yourself,
You who’re larger than life,.
Ever get a stomach suture?
[Oc]clude yourself—
Eschew the food like cake;
Baked ham shouldn’t be your future.

See size 12?
Perhaps if you forsake
Food you’ve chewed—yes that’s the only way.

Shakes? Shakes. . .not svelte!
Put hefty mousse away;
Roast with au jus bloats.

Oprah’s grub is scones, cream, tarts,
Oprah’s grub takes toll on heart,
Much better is some
Okra, though it makes you fart.
Oprah, snub those scones, creams, tarts!

Hey, you won’t have those pants fit
If you splurge so and gorge.

Watch that chow!
No eating mincemeat pie!
Can’t be dancing if you’re o’erfed
How, loose the belt?
No, not with wicked cake!
There’s a reason you break your bed.
Eat yourself:
What I mean: seek a fast;
You’ve got to want to recede.

Oprah’s grub is scones, cream, tarts,
Oprah’s grub takes toll on heart,
Much better is some
Okra, though it makes you fart.
Oprah, snub those scones, be smart!

There’s the lipo incision;
It extrudes the bloat.
Your gut says: ingestion is your wherewithal. . .
In the end, you’ve got to go
On a diet—feast, no, girl! on those scones and tarts,
And you’ll watch that heavy weight fall low, low.

Oprah, snub those scones, cream, tarts,
Oprah, snub that toll on heart,
Much better is some
Okra, though it makes you fart.
Oprah, snub those scones, be smart!

Schooners and taters mean profusion
Of your thighs—they’ll blow apart!
If you nix bites, you will be light.
Skip the dessert cart—go not for the scones and tarts.

Just don’t eat so much—weight will fall,
Just don’t feed so much—wait, ’twill fall.
Oprah, snub the scones, be smart!
Just don’t seize so much—weight will fall.
Just don’t eat it!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Good advice for Oprah, and many others...Funny stuff, John
theWalktress - November 29, 2010 - Report this comment
MsO~ . . . the trick is to Write ~ Weigh ~ Walk each day ! that melted 17 lbs from my thighs, you guys !

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