He was a fine fletcher,
But put me on a stretcher.
It burned in my glutei
Maximi--pierced the skin and then reamed right on through.
It landed right near the seam. . .
Errant arrow did fly
Till it made a skin dive.
Stuck in butt topography.
I feel like I'm trepanned.
I can't sit--lie or stand.
It has cleaved maximi meat.

CHORUS:
In the nates,
In the tail it entered me.
In the nates,
Oh, how it made my behind seize.
In the nates,
In my ass an arrow stands.
In the nates, in the nates.
Can't you see: I need a hand.
I the nates,
I'm glad it's not another gland.
In the nates,
As you see I've just been canned.
In the nates,
Minor surgery's now planned.
In the nates (4x)

Where did you, where did you,
Where did you learn like that to shoot?

It's like an ass venter
Thank god, not the center.
A new orifice for gas
Might have been my fate.

Assign this to a doctor, fast!
This wound has really stung
The joint where I place
Myself when I am sitting.
Here surely there must be
On call a good M.D.
To pull this arrow from me.

CHORUS

Where will you, where will you,
Where will you anesthetic shoot?

"You'll see!"

I hope you, I hope you,
Don't get too close to the poop chute.
Or, I'm afraid, where I make water!

"Hey, hey, look,
Man, here comes a 50 cc stick from the IV.
Then I'll do, then I'll do up your nates."

Oh my goodness,
I feel like I'm going under from morphine.