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Song Parodies -> "The Heifer"

Original Song Title:

"The Letter"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Box Tops

Parody Song Title:

"The Heifer"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

"You will lick it or I will cause you pain!"
Leather of her sole is fine-grained.
Unbound days are gone,
I no longer roam,
'Cause my baby just a-roped me and fettered.

"Don't you call me 'honey,'" she says as she bends
Her foot toward my mouth, which is wide open.
My tongue's very long,
It's leaving its home,
'Cause my baby just a-roped me and fettered.

Well she roped me and fettered,
Said she couldn't take my smart-mouth no mo'.
Glistening licker's slicking her sole front to back
My baby says, "Once a-mo'!"
Me: "OK."

I find as I lick it, it's got a good taste,
As scrumptious as preschool white paste.
Then I start a-chawin',
Till leather's a-gone,
And my baby's toes start a-gettin' wetter.

Her toes are gettin' wetter
And they're ticklish--she can't take no mo'
"Listen, Mr. Tickler, now please put your tongue back,
I must go to the store.
Right away."

Now she's a-trippin' and one foot's in pain.
If she falls, she might get a sprain.
Though the sole is gone,
She keeps trudgin' on.
And then my baby bought new boots and a tether,
And on the way home, she a-roped me a heifer.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
5 toes in your mouth on this.
alvin rhodes - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
laughed till i hurt...and my toes got wet...5s
Chuck A. Spear - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
WTF???? I thought this was gonna be about cows......
Rick C - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
You got your best foot forward here, John! 5's
John Barry - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Red Ant, Alvin, Rick C.
Adagio - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one, John. I thought it was going to be about cows too. 5's
Catch 23 - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
You are incredible with your rhyming to original songs and titles. Great stuff here. 555 toe licks for you and your baby
Michael Pacholek - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
You know, John, you always complain about the heifer, but you never do anything about it.
Johnny D - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
She has you cowed, does she?
Kristof Robertson - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Bondage-tastic! 555

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