He'd been holding on so long;
Finally the light bulb shone--
Horrid Mitt's through.
Now no more we'll hear the drone
Of this Stepford Husband clone. . .
Won't miss this dude.

(Excerpt from pandering speech)

When he talks I fall asleep
But then have horrible dreams
In which Mitt woos
Me for votes, but I can't crawl
From his preprogammed squall--
On his drone rings.

And in his best pandering way,
Says, "I'm a manly man. . .
Hunting varmints since I was twelve,
And girls shouldn't marry girls
It should be Myron and sweet Sue. . . ."

This guy has got a case of whine,
Like maître d' who turns you down,
You know, he's a creep, too.

(Excerpt from flip-flop speech)

Ah, but then approaches the dawn;
I awake and find that he's gone,
Long gone, long gone, long gone!

Now the days don't look quite as dark:
He's gone back to Park
City. Hope he stays there.
He has stumbled to defeat
With his leaden feet.
Not many people bought his pandering ploy.

He finally says to himself:
"There is no way."

So, he was deluding himself,
Blew a big chunk of his pelf,
No wonder, then, he's riled--
The pander poster boy's mind,
So far out of line. . .
Well, that Mitt dude is crazy, yeah.

Horrid Mitt's through. . .smile.

(Excerpt from passive-aggressive speech)

Whorish Mitt's through. . .smile.

(Excerpt from flat-out-lying speech)

Loring Mitt's through. . .smile.

(Excerpt from petulant concession speech)