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Song Parodies -> "Teeth"

Original Song Title:

"Teeth"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Teeth"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

They ain’t bared
And sometimes they’re sore.
Woe is my teeth.

Boatloads of money
To look funny. . .
Get ’em correct.
I can’t bite into most damn meat;
Biting’s hard for me.
Woe is my teeth—
I look like a teen.

I got imperfection
In my dentition;
Molars are clamped.
I can’t bite into many treats—
Some bites can’t be employed.
Oh woe! my teeth.
My moue ain’t sexy.

Yell I that these things aggrieve me. . .
Placed one by a man who gets delight
Making crooked choppers right.
Only thing that will relieve me
Is opioids, liberally applied.
Oh, woe! my teeth;
The grief won’t end.
Woe is my teeth—
No open-mouth joy.
Woe is my teeth.
Show them I will not. . .
Won’t show my teeth, teeth, teeth.

Only salvation
For mastication
Is a teeth fixin’.
Teeth fixin’ I’ll do,
Then I’ll be able to bite meat—
Go in with teeth,
Even tough tips.

I got an affliction
Of f**ked-up dentition:
Molars, perfect!
The incisors don’t form a suite;
They’re crookedly deployed
From their roots sheaths;
They just need ligatured guidance.

Hell, I don’t want them to leave me,
So this man is gonna make them right,
But now, damn, those wires are tight!
Only thing that will relieve me
Is opioids, liberally applied.
Oh, woe! my teeth—
The grief won’t end.
Woe is my teeth—
No open-mouth joy.
Woe is my teeth.
Show them I will not,
Won’t show my teeth, teeth, teeth.
Won’t show my teeth.

When the fixin’ is through,
When restrictions are through
And I’m unclamped,
Then I’ll show my fangs (when the fixin’ is through). . .
Smile won’t be damped,
And I’ll show my fangs (when restrictions are through).

Well, then they will not aggrieve me
After this man has made them alright,
But now those damn wires are tight!
Then, I won’t need, to relieve me
Those opioids liberally applied. . .
No woe for my teeth—
The grief will end.
No woe for teeth
But open mouth joy,
No woe for teeth. . .
Show you what I got,
Show you my teeth,
Teeth, teeth, teeth,
Show you my teeth.
Smile will be big, caps will gleam!

-------------------------------

Oh no! My teeth
Have been redeployed.
I ducked beneath
A restricted venue. . .
Knocked out my teeth.
Now I need a new appliance:
Set of false teeth.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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