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Song Parodies -> "Kellyane"

Original Song Title:

"Carrie Anne"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics


Hey, Kellyanne,
stray, Kellyanne.
Many folks are fooled when you are sh!t-full.
Your scam imprimatur’s on much that’s monitored:
each and every unalloyed scam faux “fact.”
Should be retractions of all you’re spewing.
Stray, Kellyanne, from truth:
game that you and all your ilk play.
Stay, Kellyanne with your
gamed script; don’t let facts in the way.
You’ve a special kind of mendacity:
fact-independence always sharing.
Truth’s bought the farm when you are staging
every one of your fibber spielings.
Stray, Kellyanne, from truth;
gamed is everything that you say.
Bray, Kelllyanne, untruths—
game you play every single day.

So faux, faux is this woman fully
(faux is this woman fully).
Faux. So! is this woman, fully.
(She is full, completely.)

Stray, Kellyanne, from truth;
gamed is everything that you bray.
Bray, Kelllyanne, untruths—
hey, that’s your congenital way.

People haven’t learned; some are still turning
to her; they’re blind to this lying creature.
When the [bull] session’s over, they’ll take blithely
every lie and made-up tale she’s braying.

Hey, Kellyanne. Just a game;
clowing are you every day.
Hey, Kellyanne, you’ve gained fame now
for nothing true to say.

Kellyanne. Kelly’s brand’s welter o’ scams.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.8
How Funny: 1.8
Overall Rating: 1.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   18
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Maynard G. Krebs - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
Of course, you are being given 1s not because your parody has no artistic merit, but because the resident nitwits disagree with the obvious: Kellyanne is a loathsome, mendacious, double-talking, hired hag.
Jonathan - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
^ I'm giving this a 524, because while it actually DOES have artistic merit, (as expected with JAB, the pacing is excellent!) it's not one of his funnier ones in my book. of course, I actually like Kellyanne, but I'm not going to let that influence me into giving a 1-bomb!
Maynard G. Krebs - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
^ At least I finally got Jonathan to give a little bit of thought to his scoring.
Jonathan - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
^ you finally got me to, eh? think again! I always evaluate parodies fairly! there have been ones that are the most leftist parodies you can imagine, but if they're constructed well, I have to give the author some props!
Maynard G. Krebs - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
^ Surely you jest, Jonathan. For Rob's last 27 parodies, where you have announced your score in the Comments, 9 times you have given him 4-5-5 and 5 times you have given him 5-5-5. In the 13 instances where you have not mentioned your score in your comment or not commented at all, Rob received straight 5s. How many of the latter were donated by you is unknowable. I find the uniformity of these scores, to say nothing of their excellence, remarkable. It's all documented here. State's evidence which proves your suspension of thought when scoring Rob's parodies. You can look it up. I did, and now I case.
Rob Arndt - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
Why do you have to drag me into this MGK? I receive 555s as well as a range of mixed scores including people's 111s when they don't like my topic or someone comments something objectionable in my threads. I also give 555 to authors and don't comment all the time as others do. TCOP and Matthias rarely ever answer comments anymore but I still rate them 5s. JAB seldom comments either, but I'll gladly 555 on his parodies today. I am busy during the day, so I don't go through all the parodies at once. And even Jon skips a lot of my parodies like my SJH Spell one today, Madonna parodies, Gaga, and other non-'80s music. I don't hold it against him. People here tend to 5 their buddies or their party affiliation. I'm a REP so we are the majority now. I have 555'd both MP and Jeff from Virginia even when unpopular. So please don't make accusations you can't support. Even newbies are getting lots of 555s. JAB, I don't agree with you politically but 555 on your parodies! You're still THE MASTER to me!
Maynard G. Krebs - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
^ Rob, you are Exhibit A, supporting my accusation against Jonathan. Just lie on the exhibit table in your Zip-Loc bag, and be quiet!
? - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
Who is this Jonathan character?
@? - February 15, 2017 - Report this comment
^ From what I've heard, Jonathan's a good-natured, overweight, good ol' boy cracker who's addicted to junk foods, junk culture, junk science, and junk politics. To his credit, he doesn't have a pickup decorated with a Confederate flag, he doesn't yell a Dixie war whoop, he's sworn off lynching, and he's as sober as a judge. If you meet him, he'll slap you with either high 5s or high 455's.
Jonathan - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
yeah, yeah, say, Maynard. don't you have an island to get stranded on?
Oh yeah - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
Don't you know that Missa Jonathan is a Righty McWhitey who supports Trump's hatred? Fat good old boy ain't the half if it. This meat eatin' soda drinkin' snack glutton backwoods trailer trash of the Confederate nature doesn't have the decency to be a real human being. He's racist, misogynistic, and has the IQ of a pitbull dog! He needs a lobotomy. Go drink yourself a 60 ounce soda and gobble a dozen donuts you hillbilly inbred numbskull. It's only a matter of time until Grumpy Trumpy gets his self impeached! And loudmouth Barbie will go with him. Furthermore, I ask you, what kinda 50 year old man lives with his brother and watches Golden girls reruns while listening to self confessed eighties music? It ain't right.
Callmelennie - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
^^ Well, Jonathan, if that last comment doesn't "prove", beyond any shadow of a doubt, that you are ... (wait for it; wait for it'''') ... "Filled with Hate", I don't know what will!! After all, "Oh yeah" is clearly a paragon of love and rationality ...... So, that whole "We two scamps" thing was just an all too obvious cover of your true brutish homicidal nature. Sure had me fooled.
Bob Denver - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
CML, I'm paraphrasing, but Jonathan once said he was consumed with hatred for the Clintons. So "Oh yeah" has a point, even though he lacks the subtle wit of Maynard G. Krebs. By the way, Maynard's middle name is Walter, his aunt's name. The "G" is silent.
Jonathan - February 16, 2017 - Report this comment
^ the same hatred you freaks are consumed with for Trump, no? let's not be hypocritical here! I mean I know it's just the nature of a bitter Clinton supporter to be hypocritical, but still! furthermore, had Clinton won, I would have simply moved, end of story! Trump wins, and you guys get all uber-violent! protesting if the dude sneezes! real classy fellas, truly you ARE the side of love & tolerance!
Bob Denver - February 17, 2017 - Report this comment
^ You assume I'm a Clinton supporter. I'm not. But saying I'm one of those "freaks" lets you go on your semi-literate tirade. Your alleged brain is on autopilot and its name is Otto. I previously thought "Oh yeah" went overboard, but now I see he tried hard to restrain himself.
Jonathan - February 17, 2017 - Report this comment
^ I see. well then, apologies for the (apparently incorrect) assumption. I'll admit, it was OY's overboard comment that got under my skin, and when you brought up the Clintons as a defense for said comment, I guess I just drew the wrong conclusion! once again, I apologize. but tell me, which is the more sensible action? moving to another country when you don't like how yours is being run? or rioting & looting under the guise of a "peaceful" protest, and doing this every time the country's leader even so much as yawns? all I'm saying is, I don't like, nor trust the Clintons. but rather than behave violently, I would've just left! an awful lot of celebrities had said they were going to leave if Trump won, but as far as I know, none of them have made good on their word. choosing instead, to talk about blowing up the White House! and for the record, I don't think ALL Clinton supporters (which you apparently are not) are freaks, just the ones out there exhibiting violent behavior, and jumping on anybody with an opposing view! believe it or not, there was a user on here not long ago who, while a Clinton supporter, lost with some grace, and admitted that the riots & safe spaces were stupid! now, clearly we had differing opinions as to who should've won the election, but I could still respect them! and more importantly, this particular parody still recieved a higher mark from me, even if I disagree with it. the author, JAB, despite apparently not liking Trump so much, has not gone out of his way to attack & insult those who do! and still remains the master of wordplay here at amiright, in my book!
Maynard's Kin - February 17, 2017 - Report this comment
What's your major malfunction Jonathan? Trump supporters were the first to attack Muslim women and shout racial slurs at Hispanics, taunting them with deportation of entire families with little kids. Trump supporters spread hatred with swastikas next to the name Trump with notes like Get out of our country! Our country? One of diversity, not redneck Klansmen and Neo-Nazi thugs. You support Bannon, then, Jonathan? He said his heroes were: Satan, Dick Cheney, and Darth Vader! Out of his own mouth, he worships evil! And Trump is the Big Liar who claims he won the popular vote. It's empirically evident that he didn't. He also won the Electoral vote by a margin, not a landslide. He says the leaks are correct but the news is fake! What the hell? It's obvious he covered for Flynn and all the other Trump staff that colluded with Russian Intelligence to throw the election. Everyday this man of hate tweets nasty things about anyone who disagrees with him. He's admitted to sexual assaults; he's attacked women like Megan Kelly and Carly Fiorina; he's made fun of war veteran John McCain and a disabled reporter; he's called Mexicans rapists and murderers; he thinks all Black people live in inner city ghettos, and the list is endless. You know WHY Melania won't move into the White House? Because she's preparing for divorce. This kept woman wants to stay that way. She's fit for a penthouse, not the White House. She can't handle the job nor the responsibility and hides behind raising her child. Well, every other FLOTUS has made the adjustments. But living with a vile, scandalous, and irresponsible man like Trump- she should move on. Ivana and Marla did. My point is that you are biased. Everything Mr. Barry has said here is true. No Alternative Facts that your side invented. Alt.facts are known as lies. And your record of hatred for the Democrats, Clintons, and SJWs is noted as hypocrisy.
Maynard's Kin - February 18, 2017 - Report this comment
Lastly Jon, keep your hate speech off this campus!
Mr. Horowitz - February 18, 2017 - Report this comment
^ boneheaded fool
timmy - February 19, 2017 - Report this comment
uh... maynard's kin? are you SURE you wanna be using the term "malfunction?" isn't hillary the one known to short-circuit??
Ralph - February 19, 2017 - Report this comment
Yeah, why isn't John Barry talking about all the Clinton scandals, the DNC remarks about Bernie Sanders, the missing 33,000 emails, the private server, the unsecured cell phone, the Clinton Foundation preferences to donors, and so forth. Can John tell us how Clinton would challenge Putin over Syria when they control both air bases and the main port or how we would establish safe zones if the Russians and Syrian army won't let us? How would Hillary deal with the spy ship that is in International waters off our coast? You can't threaten it or sink it. The Russian violation of the INF Treaty? We do the same thing. And how would she secure the southern border? Simple. She wouldn't. Clinton prefers open borders, amnesty for all, and bad trade agreements, even globalization. She wouldn't spend a dime more on our military or our vets. She's a socialist like Sanders masquerading as a progressive. Nobody bought it. She lost. Twice now. Even her women's pitch failed. That's gotta hurt. It seems John Barry is living in fantasy land. Trump is a wildcard, but at least he's trying to do many things at once as fast as he can while be obstructed by the Democrats and having to deal with fake news everyday. OK, make that misleading news with extreme bias. The facts are undeniable, but the slant and spins, omissions of other equal facts, and fair independent analysis proves Trump is being treated unfairly. Examples? Flynn talked to many foreign counterparts by phone. Story: Russia only. The Secret Service has to protect the Trump's at extreme costs in different locations. Yes, it's their job no matter the size of the family or where they live or go. Non-story. So stop berating Jonathan for being honest.

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