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Song Parodies -> "Usury"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

If you search for empathy
from the Shylocking kind,
in the back you’ll likely get a shiv.
And do not look for truthfulness—
that ain’t what you will find;
the shaft is what to you they’re gonna give.

Usury is such an ugly word.
“Ain’t it illegal?” ask you.
Usury illegal?!! How absurd!
MasterCard, Visa are just two.

I’d rather find someone
who’s from the made-man guys,
who’ll make it plain just how I’ll grieve
if I don’t pay back. . .smash my face;
up front I am apprised,
unlike card companies that deceive.

Usury is such an ugly word.
“Ain’t it illegal?” ask you.
Usury illegal?!! How absurd!
Amex, Discover are just two.

Their charges are covered
in bullshit you can’t
decipher; they gull you—all you get from them is cant.
They are out to f**k you, and finding relief you shan’t.
So there don’t go.

Paydays are a blight but you’ll
as with vig dicks learn
just how f**ked you will be thereupon.
The card sharks do naught but fool
you every way that you turn.
And quite soon they’ve got you snared in a con.

Usury is such an ugly word
“Ain’t it illegal?” ask you.
Usury illegal?!! How absurd!
Take on card debt and you will rue.

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