Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Culinary Man"

Original Song Title:

"Solitary Man"

Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"Culinary Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

The ginger I find,
Then the thyme
For the flounder.
Poach in gin,
Cut off fin.

The soufflé ain't strong,
Would be wrong
So you must not
Stick fork through--
Do not do.

That would make me ill;
I would fill with enmity.
And I would say,
"That's outré, my enemy."
So I'll be on to ham,
A culinary man,
Culinary man.

I steam franks in beer. . .
Also hair
Of the dog; swirls
Round--I drink,
Then can't think.

My roast's overdone,
So's the bun.
Well, there's lunch meat
Got a pong;
Eat it. . .wrong!

So it makes me ill,
I unfill. . .I unbind me.
Make it halfway
Ere the spray from my heinie.
So my seat's on the can. . .
A colon-airy man,
Colon-aerie man.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
A tasty little parody of the OS targeted by one my first amiright submissions: :-)
alvin - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
nicely cooked up...ya even got "lunch meat" in there....that should make littleCupCakes happy !
John Barry - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stan the man. Thanks, Alvin--yep, I'm always looking for LM possibilities. Cakes' comments slay me.
Agrimorfee - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Weird one, even for you, John. 555
MsCupCakes - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey there Pirate Jack, the "Sweaty Gourmet" ! You're quite a cook, Sir ! < Chips Ahoy >
AFW - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Love food parodies...good cookin' here
John Barry - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Agrimorfee, Cakes, AFW.
Below Average Dave - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I was getting hungry. . .until I read the last paragraph. . .nice (well you know what I mean) twist on the end there, and intriguing parody as a whole.
Dr Music - August 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Mm are one great cook. I've tried all sorts of comical dishes most of which were too hot or too cold- but not this one, this one is just right. You know, I happen to be quite the expert chef myself, i'm cooking up a batch of 5's for you.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 672