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Song Parodies -> "They Trampled Him During the Running"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn of the Republic, The"

Original Performer:

Julia Ward Howe

Parody Song Title:

"They Trampled Him During the Running"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

There are errors in the Spanglish, but I went for rhyme over reason.
Dry ice is on the gory spot; it's throbbing where I'm scored.
I was trampled in this village, where my aching abs were gored.
Here's hope in the fateful fighting, the terror bull gets the sword.
My tooth, I think, is gone.

Gory, gory la corrida [running of the bulls (in Pamplona, Spain)].
I gave the cops a mordida [bribe].
Algo en boca, perdida [something's missing in my mouth].
My tooth, I think, is gone.

I am bleeding from the notch where the horn pricked me down in Pamp'.
Oh, my limbs have been quite altered; they have even got a cramp.
They have swaddled me in bandages that now are getting damp.
The tube is in my arm.

[Alternate verse]
I am bleeding from the notch where the horn pricked me down in Pamp'.
Bet my bill will be muy alta; much dinero will decamp.
They have swaddled me in bandages that now are getting damp.
The tube is in my arm.

Gory, gory la corrida.
Squashed me on the avenida.
I'd had too many bebidas [drinks].
The tube is in my arm.

In the ring the matador prepares his sword of burnished steel.
In the hospital the morphine hits me, and I cannot feel.
And the nurse throws out my shoes because there's bullshit on the heel.
My Gucci marchers gone.

Gory, gory la corrida.
¿Cómo va a la lidia [What's happening at the bullfight]?
Have to wear some zapatillas [slippers].
My Gucci marchers gone.

There's a morphine pump, I pump it; the sensation is so sweet.
As my heart pumps it through my veins, I am numb from head to feet.
So much better than the stuff I typically buy on the street.
Those poppy pods were strong.

Gory, gory la corrida.
¡Mierda! hospital comida [hospital food sucks!].
Muzak here is not "Aida."
Those poppy pods were strong.

Now I cannot feel my willie, but I think I've got to pee.
I'm imploring that a bedpan be a high priority.
Though I try to wait and hold it. . .high tide: enuresis* sea!
My rod's stream's arcing on.

Pouring, pouring, the urethra.
Forget going to Ibiza [Castilian pronunciation: Ibitha].
Mi bicho no es arida [my d*ck's not arid].
My rod's stream's arcing on.

[Alternate verses]
Now I cannot feel my willie, but I think I've got to pee.
I'm imploring that a bedpan be a high priority.
Yes, he pried and made me holey, but he died—is stiff and fri-
O. I feel something warm!

Pouring, pouring, the urethra.
Forget going to Ibiza.
Mi bicho no es arida.
Oh, I feel something warm!


*Incontinence.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Very original - something I've often thought:
To take part in the bull run, first you leave behind your brain
And go sprinting through those narrow streets - it seems to me insane
For if the bull is quicker, there might be a little pain
The Pamplona Bull Run :-)
Susanna Viljanen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
¿Estábas en Pamplona?
Johnny D - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
The Dubya and The Albert ran like bulls four years ago
And The Albert won the people's vote the totals clearly show
But thanks to the stupid hanging chads the Justices said "No"
The Democrats were sore!

E-lectoral vote collection
Sleazy hanging-chad deception
In that infamous election
George Bush's ass was Gored!
John Barry - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil, Susanna. Jamás a españa, pero quiero ir. ¿Y tú?
Susanna Viljanen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Si, visité Barcelona esta primavera.

Gloria, gloria halleluia Visto Sagrada Familia ¡Que pasmoso la iglesia - si manejan la acabar!
Susanna Viljanen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I cannot see the reason why the young men risk their lives
and health - and wreck the pleasure of the fiancees and wives
As this cancíon well described, los accidents no son surprise
Peligrosos toros son!

Gory, gory in Pamplona!
¡Es la carrera mas loca!
¿Tienes la pelvis quebrada?
¡Los toros marchában!
Stuart McArthur - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked the way you went from the matador in the ring about to stab with a steel sword, to the next line: you in hospital about to be stabbed with a steel morphine syringe - very clever great work
Susanna Viljanen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Alternate last chorus

Olvida ir en Ibiza,
eres no bueno en corrida
Casi perdías ya tú vida
¡Los toros marchában!

Just a couple of notes:
- the island of Ibiza is THE party and sex planet of European youth
- if you are EU citizen, the hospital costs are covered by your own country's social security, so you don't lose too many dineros
- if you lack certain dopamine receptors in your brain, being on painkillers (or heroin) is no pleasure but just the most stupefying feeling in the world and you wish you'd get over with it ASAP. My own genetics is like that.
Kristof Robertson - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Usted es un matador de palabras. Excelente. Cinco Cinco Cinco
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I can't offer any technical comments on the Spanish, as the only foreign languages I speak/read well are descended from Old Norse. ;-) Still, you made clever allusions to the original song and used vivid imagery for the story: that deserves three more fives.
John Harvey - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice. If only I had taken Spanish for all those years instead of French. Thank you for the translations, though I wish I could have read it straight through. Damn my language skills. Great job.

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