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Song Parodies -> "A Harridan Woman"

Original Song Title:

"American Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Guess Who

Parody Song Title:

"A Harridan Woman"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

A scary-dumb women, crazy as can be,
A savage-gun woman: a “mama grizzly”
Who’s just for swag in, a money whore.
I don’t wanna hear your bray no more.
It is so unfortunate that you
Got famous thanks to that old man who
Said, “Woman of the Frontier state,
Alaska-from woman, come and be my mate.”

A scary-dumb woman, senseless as can be,
A harry-’em woman takin’ on Har-ry.
Is dumber even than money whore,
Lives in shadows like a mushroom spore.
Colored lights ’neath Vegas skies
Can’t sparkle her vacant eyes.
“Sound” woman? As in “sane”—no way.
This hag ’n’ numb woman should be put away.

A scary-dumb woman, insane as can be,
Beelzebub’s woman: you would think that she
Would want between church and state a door—
She don’t know what Number 1 is for.
Worships Prince of Peace and Darkness too;
No wonder it’s skewed, her whole worldview,
This woman, who’s from the First State,
This Satan’s-chum woman’s thinking ain’t first rate.

A scary-dumb woman, wacko as can be,
A harridan woman, mania has she.
Is dumber, too, than the money whore,
Got brain freeze because she too lives north.
Colored lights. . .Aurora skies
Can can’t out-spark her crazy eyes.
This woman’s thyroid gone astray.
This sclera-pumped* woman looks the Feldman** way.

Go, all ya’s, get away. Go on, get away, go, go, go.
These are four creepy women,
Four real creepy women
Bi-, bi-, bi-, bi-; “bipolar,” try.
They’re no good, we see, no good for the U.
S.A.; one’s got crazy eyes
All four of ’em are askew.
You know, we’re gonna grieve
If any of three go
To D.C.’; one won’t leave:
The Minneso’ wacko woman.


*In thyroid eye disease, swelling in the orbital tissues causes the eye to be pushed forward—referred to as exophthalmos—which can make sufferers appear to have a wide-eyed or bulging stare. “Crazy eyes” are detectable when a person is at a normal restful state and the white part of the eye (the sclera) is clearly visible above and below the colored part of the eye (the iris). This person appears to be glaring wide eyed.
**Marty Feldman, whose walleyed orbs were the result of a hyperactive thyroid and a botched operation after a car accident before his 30th birthday.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

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LadyCoyoteCakes - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
CaptainJack de Barryl, I'm waiting Sir, for you to pen one about your Bun wearin' ~ Rifle totin' ~ Pistol packin' ~ Lady Palin' . . . Wow there would be a real regal write, , SirSweaty!

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