Some people call me the pace cowboy, yeah,
Some call me the gagster of puns.
Some people tell me, "Bore, cease. . .
Off the beat, with a pompousness that stuns!"

People tell me that I'm wastin'
My time doin' this song, doin' that song:
"You get too wordy, crazy, so wordy.
Are your rhymes clear, rhymes, clear, rhymes clears. . . ?"
Record's broken.

Yeah I'm a drinker, swig with vintners,
I'm a punster whose syntax splinters,
Of music I'm making much fun.
I'm a joker, I'm a roaster,
An amiright poster. . .
Verses of words, and on mine run.

I got a sister who is a spinster,
A ULC min'ster.
She's dodgin' taxes, havin' fun.
At least she knows, sir, it's a joke, sir,
She's no holy poseur,
Such as roll-in-dough Robertson.

Gotta stop gettin' sidetracked on policies,
Stop reelin' off the speeches and make parodies.
Punny-funny, punny-funny, punny-funny paradigm--
That's what I aim for; hope to show a good rhyme.

I love the trickster; makes me snicker--
"Candy's dandy, but liquor's quicker"--
The player on words named Ogden,
A short-verse stoker with face of poker,
Born in Rye,* wry joker,
Pumped out poems and puns with his pen.

Yeah I'm a printer, aquatinter,
Spoonerister, cunning-runts sprinter,
Of music I'm making much fun.
I'm a joker, I'm a roaster
An amiright poster. . .
Verses of words, and on mine run.

People tell me that I'm wastin'
My time doin' this song, doin' that song
"You get too wordy, crazy, so wordy."
Amiright's here, 'right's here, 'right's here--my web-page home.

I've gotta get my bits set to parities
For reelin' off the spiels to make some parodies.
Punny-funny, punny-funny, punny-funny paradigm--
That's what I aim for; hope to show a good rhyme.


*New York, 1902, Ogden Nash.