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Song Parodies -> "Stuporman"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

In 1961, FCC Commissioner Newton Minow said the following: "When television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there without a book, magazine, newspaper, profit-and-loss sheet or rating book to distract you--and keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that you will observe a vast wasteland."
Woke up this mornin', farted a breeze,
Had a gin and tonic in place of my tea.
I looked in the mirror. What did I see?
A high, stoned freak starin' stup'rously

My mouth felt like the jam between my toes,
I recall jamming something up my nose.
I see in the mirror, I'm wearing a dress--
Many of the things I did last night I've wisely repressed.
Don't know how I'll face the day,
I'm in bad shape, seen at a glance,
I am in a virtual trance.

Stuporman, Stuporman,
I was high; now I'm Stuporman.
Stuporman, Stuporman,
I'm somnolently Stuporman,
Stuporman, Stuporman,
Somnambulist me, Stuporman.
Stuporman, Stuporman,
I was high; now I'm Stuporman.

Woke up this mornin', could barely see;
My eyes were as clouded as could be.
I switched on the light; they glowed--I saw they were red.
Took a whiff and realized I'd dripped in bed.
I'd had a lax night, soiled night, pouring night, wet night,
When I'm in a stupor, man, surges thrive.
Black pills, red pills, crack pills, stoned pills--
Took 'em all last night; crashed at 5:05.

Looked in the paper, what did I see?
Robbery, it says, committed by me.

"Hey, girl," I say to myself in disgrace,
As I stare at the dress; my suit's misplaced.
I guess I'd better start functioning some way,
I can't be Stuporman for rest of the day.
It's midday, so I turn on "World,"
To see what kind of mess they're in.
But this soap is borin',
A few minutes of this and I'm snorin'.

Stuporman, Stuporman,
TV, daytime, makes Stuporman.
Stuporman, Stuporman,
It's worse than vice to stupor man.
Stuporman, Stuporman,
Oprah shrieks high--I'm Stuporman.
Stuporman, Stuporman,
Montel, Maury--I'm Stuporman,
Stuporman, Stuporman,
Judy, Jerry--I'm Stuporman.
Stuporman, Stuporman,
"Vast Wasteland"'s why I'm Stuporman.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Lurker - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
No. The absence of God and virtue in your life have made you "Stuporman" -- or more accurately, "Stuporboy," because you are too immature to be called a "man."
Michael Newdow - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
I vote for separation of church and site.
alvin rhodes - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
stupendous ! ...5s
Rick C - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, John...555
Noah Webster - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Lurk: to lie in wait in a place of concealment, especially for an evil purpose; to constitute a latent threat; to go furtively, slink, steal; to read messages on an Internet forum without contributing
carol - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
that one got my gigglemeter going. 555. Noah, does lurk pertain to Lurch?
John Barry - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Michael, Alvin, Rick, Noah, Carol.

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