Wasn't little, wrapped way 'round my side
That's gettin' broader.
I love women and just how great they look;
I'll dress as a broad, yeah.
So I started walking that way,
Tried to look alluring but not gay.
Then I knew--want him to go and weave,
Throw tuxedo away!

Cummerbund: pitch it, clothier. . .
Don't like clothes of man, so get me a thong.
Cummerbund: pitch it, clothier,
I love whalebone corsets, tight--must be strong.

So he started to scan
My dimensions; his face was whitening.
He said, "You can't be a miss,
You're a blimp, so big it is frightening!"
I heard this haberdasher say:
"Like a moose that's stuffed with hay."
I slew that fashion man with a gun,
I dreamt--blew him away, yeah!

Came undone on this clothier--
Such an unkind man--
My epithets strong:
"C*ck is just a whit, clothier,
Your little bone
Is so slight--an inch long!"

Then his loose jaw dropped,
He said, "That was so peremptory!"
Then I heard myself say:
"Such mumbling is not exemplary."
So I walked to him and shook his hand,
"Sew me a linen caftan."
Then I as rolled away,
No more smears would this little 'ho' say, yeah!

Cut a bunch, then stitch, clothier,
Design my caftan--
Sew big--not too long!
Come on, be no bitch, clothier,
Get on the phone
And order my huge thong.