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Song Parodies -> "Autodidact's Garden"

Original Song Title:

"Octopus's Garden"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Autodidact's Garden"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Afraid that's me, out plantin' seeds
In an autodidact's garden—too much shade.
Soil's pretty thin—no nitrogen.
I'm an autodidact gard'nin' with no spade.

I've dug a trench in which to pee. . .
Autodidact, too, in plumbery.
I plunge these seeds in way too deep.
In China, someone is gonna harvest maize.

I planted corn before a storm,
Now the soil is washing away on the waves.
And that one's dead, that poor seed bed,
Where I dumped the arsenic I didn't save.

In silk pants I kneel on ground;
Should have bought overalls in town.
I've soiled my knee while plantin' seeds
In an autodidact's garden. I must bathe.

If cabbage sprouts: sauerkraut
Will I make; it is one of my faves.
(This dish is one of my faves.)
I lose joy when I learn it's bok choy.
Even worse—I seasoned it with mace.
(Seasoned it with mace.)

Feel crappy, I want snap peas and beans.
Need someone to show me what to do.
I'd bet on beets; now I eat meats.
As an autodidact gard'ner, I'm through.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Johnny D - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
But as a self-taught parody writer, you're a genius, my friend. 5's
Guy - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi, I'm John Barry and I'm a recovering vegan. (Crown mumbles) Hi, John, welcome to the meating. Ha Ha - Well done. Here, take these 5 pounds of ground round.
Stuart McArthur - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I've lost joy on learning it's bok choy too - no cure for that - and thanks Johnny for the clue to the meaning of autodidact - 555
Whoops - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Typo in above comment - believe that (Crown mumbles) should be (Crowd mumbles).
John Barry - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
JD, thank you very much! Thanks also, Guy, Stuart.
Meriadoc - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Always love your botanical parodies!
Phil Alexander - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved the "plumbery" rhyme. Beautifully done, JB.
Michael Pacholek - October 31, 2004 - Report this comment
You plunge the seeds in way to deep? And Johnny D didn't make a comment about that line? Johnny, you're slippin'.
Paul Robinson - December 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Hearty job here, JB...5's...

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