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Song Parodies -> "Must Dam"

Original Song Title:

"Just Dance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lady GaGa

Parody Song Title:

"Must Dam"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Must Dam A wet one, Chomp, chip, Chaw, chaw. I’ve had a little bit to mulch Because my teeth’ll start to crunch. Bark rushes by. Chip and rip for that dam, Then in the drink—that’s the plan. Soon the “Oakies” will moan and groan At the clear-cut forest floor. I love to wreck ’em, maples, Take down arbors straight, that’s my chore. Water’s cool, and I will stop it up With “dam”aged timber; I’ll work all night, all night. Just dam—gonna be OK, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Must dam, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Just dam. Gonna eat away: Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. Dams, dams, dams. Lust: dams. It’s nix on shutting my slay-oak mouth— First the bark I girdle, then south. . .tree goes south, right! Don’t roll in poison oak, Rose bushes will give a poke, But I don’t choke as I bite. What’s going down. . .forest floor? An elm disabled, wasted. . . Waste arbors once straight, that’s my chore. Water’s cool, and I will stop it up With dam-guaged timber; I’ll work all night, all night. Must dam. . .its the castor way, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Must dam, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Just dam. Cambium I flay: Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. Dams, dams, dams. Lust: dams. When I am through, on the forest floor, Wreckage will be cataloged. Groan men stifle cries of “Why isn’t this against the law?!!” But I ain’t gonna give it up; Steadily I’ll chip ’em up till they fall. They’re goners, bit; they’re goners, bit, they flex. They’re doomed, drop after they’re harrowed, yeah! Shorty trunks where trees once stood. . . Like Dutch Elm entropy. All day they’re swirling, them chips, round and round— There’s no tree that won’t fall When there’s been a beaver spree. With a mien, tined, lech I for larch. . .take it down. Must dam. . .in my DNA, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Must dam, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Just dam. Hey, what can I say?! Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. Dams, dams, dams. Lust: dams. Halve biota, no iota is left when I fetch my quota, Halve biota, no iota is left when I helm my “flota,”* Halve biota, no iota is left when I catch my quota, Halve biota, no iota is left--no ketch in my flota. So, use my muscle, carve ’em down; leaves will rustle. Pine—drop it! Wait till drop stops, then fetch it. Slow flow, stanch it. Creek zipped. Leak?—nix. Rend that last oak (I dropped it!) Nix the crop soak (I stopped it!) Must dam. . .in my DNA, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Must dam, Ya, chew, chew, chew. Just dam. In the deep I play. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Landsmen—damn!—bust dams. *Fleet of ships A while ago I went on a damming binge. . .mostly songs from the 60s. Matthias suggested I take on “Just Dance” and “Dance Dance.”
A wet one,
Chomp, chip,
Chaw, chaw.

I’ve had a little bit to mulch
Because my teeth’ll start to crunch.
Bark rushes by.
Chip and rip for that dam,
Then in the drink—that’s the plan.
Soon the “Oakies” will moan and groan
At the clear-cut forest floor.
I love to wreck ’em, maples,
Take down arbors straight, that’s my chore.
Water’s cool, and I will stop it up
With “dam”aged timber; I’ll work all night, all night.

Just dam—gonna be OK,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Must dam,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Just dam. Gonna eat away:
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
Dams, dams, dams. Lust: dams.

It’s nix on shutting my slay-oak mouth—
First the bark I girdle, then south. . .tree goes south, right!
Don’t roll in poison oak,
Rose bushes will give a poke,
But I don’t choke as I bite.
What’s going down. . .forest floor?
An elm disabled, wasted. . .
Waste arbors once straight, that’s my chore.
Water’s cool, and I will stop it up
With dam-guaged timber; I’ll work all night, all night.

Must dam. . .its the castor way,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Must dam,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Just dam. Cambium I flay:
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
Dams, dams, dams. Lust: dams.

When I am through, on the forest floor,
Wreckage will be cataloged.
Groan men stifle cries of “Why isn’t this against the law?!!”

But I ain’t gonna give it up;
Steadily I’ll chip ’em up till they fall.
They’re goners, bit; they’re goners, bit, they flex.
They’re doomed, drop after they’re harrowed, yeah!
Shorty trunks where trees once stood. . .
Like Dutch Elm entropy.
All day they’re swirling, them chips, round and round—
There’s no tree that won’t fall
When there’s been a beaver spree.
With a mien, tined, lech I for larch. . .take it down.

Must dam. . .in my DNA,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Must dam,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Just dam. Hey, what can I say?!
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
Dams, dams, dams. Lust: dams.

Halve biota, no iota is left when I fetch my quota,
Halve biota, no iota is left when I helm my “flota,”*
Halve biota, no iota is left when I catch my quota,
Halve biota, no iota is left--no ketch in my flota.

So, use my muscle, carve ’em down; leaves will rustle.
Pine—drop it! Wait till drop stops, then fetch it.
Slow flow, stanch it. Creek zipped. Leak?—nix.
Rend that last oak
(I dropped it!)
Nix the crop soak
(I stopped it!)

Must dam. . .in my DNA,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Must dam,
Ya, chew, chew, chew.
Just dam. In the deep I play.

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb
Landsmen—damn!—bust dams.



*Fleet of ships



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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Great work even if I don't "knaw" the original.
Christie Marie M - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
A "dam" fine parody from you, John! Nice to see you use a modern OS and Matt was right to request that song for you! Pretty fine work! That song's hard to pace the first time I used this OS! Nice job putting the "dam" into Gaga! Take some 5's from me, wood ya!
MadameDeFurred - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I can see CowboyDave herding Beaver . . . Roping them in, as they munch on his Hemp rope . . . Chips aHoy, MonSieur de Fever Au Beaver
Phil Nelson - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
There should be an imax about this. 5's
Matthias - February 12, 2010 - Report this comment
When I challenged you to do this I never expected you to actually do it. Haha. This was brilliant John and it's great to see newer music done by you.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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