Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "I Cooked a Hart in Transfat Crisco"

Original Song Title:

"I Left My Heart in San Franciso"

Original Performer:

Tony Bennett

Parody Song Title:

"I Cooked a Hart in Transfat Crisco"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

hart: a male deer; tare: weight of an item that includes the packaging; stone: 14 pounds; nates (nay-tease): buttocks.
My chubbiness from avis
Chick chunks fatly filleted.
This cooking is called "home"
Done the southern way
I binge scarily, gnaw bones of vein-cloggin beef man-fattened,
Adding hormones to vittles at the feeding bay.

I cooked a hart in transfat Crisco
White little pill enables me
To use this substitute for lard. . .
Arteries won't get hard
And gorgin' clogs won't stick in there.

My chub weight's tare
When I don thick clothes.
I've got the blues; I glimpse to see
Twenty-one stone--too much transfat Crisco's
Molded my buns--rhino nates.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I forgot to extend my thanks to Dee Range for giving me the idea for this.
Dee Range - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Man, it sure don't take you long to cook up winners!!555
alvin rhodes - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
can't say i've had the pleasure of the experience but i enjoyed hearing about it...5s
Tim Hall - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody's cholesterol ranking is 555. All good!
Royce Miller - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Late on a Friday afternoon, Alvin Rhodes' comment made me laugh; thanks, John.
Paul Robinson - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Clever, JB - and it drew some clever remarks, too...5's ~ ~ ~
Johnny D - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody deserves an award ... mounted on a PLAQUE.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 616