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Song Parodies -> "Unreflected Man"

Original Song Title:

"Well-Respected Man"

Original Performer:

Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Unreflected Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

He's never up in the morning
Or any time the sun shines.
He's ready to roam at nine-thirty,
And he'll drain you every time,
'Cause his world is built 'round puncturing your veins
Until you flail.

It tastes oh so good,
He quaffs it like wine,
He'll make you unhealthy
And you won't like the sunshine.
He's an unreflected man who bites down,
Chewin' your neck; his thing's consanguinity.

If you're at a tea and meet him,
Ask for a cup from the maid.
Stir the liquid with a crucifix--
Does he recoil to the shade
And gives nasty looks, like he is ill?
Then he is a sanguine man.

He feels not so good,
And he starts to whine,
He never looked healthy,
Now his eyes are oozing slime.
He's a genuflected man and he's down,
Even though he's vexed by Christianity.

Now you must be on your guard--
Let the cross hang 'round your chest,
Show a mirror to this pest,
And make him a garlic nest.
It won't do you any good to shoot;
Stake his heart; he'll pass on.

That would be so good,
That would be so fine,
But he's oh so stealthy
And escapes through window blinds.
He's an unreflected man who bites down,
Doing the next sink of teeth clandestinely.

Wants to lock on an au pair,
His neighbor, her name is Janet.
The gorge on that girl next door--
He is dying to get at it.
Well, technically he's already dead,
So I metaphorically state.

She tastes oh so good,
He quaffs her like wine,
He makes her unhealthy,
Now she too shuns the sunshine.
She's an unreflected woman; bites down
On the kids' necks in the conservatory.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
one of the best vampire parodies i've seen here....many many wonderful lines...5s
Paul Robinson - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
For the first few verses I thought it was about Dick Cheney...then for the next few I wasn't quite sure...but by the end I was FAIRLY sure it wasn't...but not certain...seriously...uh...Was it? j/k...5's ~ ~ ~
Rick C - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Bela, bela! Drained three 5s from me.
Red Ant - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, nice wordplay on the consanguinity/Christianity/ clandestinely/conservatory. Bite these 5s. =)
John Barry - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Paul, Rick, Red Ant!
Johnny D - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
This vampire parody definitely does NOT suck!
Michael Pacholek - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Here's a parody we can Count on. Why am I suddenly having a Kate Beckinsale fantasy?

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