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Song Parodies -> "That’s Curare"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"That’s Curare"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

curare: a substance derived from tropical plants of the genus Strychnos. It is a potent neuromuscular blocker that acts by preventing transmission of neural impulses across the myoneural junctions. A large dose can cause complete paralysis.
When you move not your eyes high to squint at the skies,
that’s curare.
When you can’t cry or whine; like cubed ice is your spine,
that’s curare.
You can’t bring to your nose your fing-er for extracting
encrusting, picker feller.
Gone away, digit movement; stay in place you today; sniff-allay
hinder-smeller.

Lips aren’t parted to pule; you can’t start a large drool:
peux pas parler.
No dancing down the street: out of luck are your feet.
And above:
you can’t talk, you can’t scream; you can’t vote for no scheming
scam foray.
Moving free cannot be. . .static postprandially. . .
snack’s curare.

When you move not your thighs like entwined gals and guys,
that’s curare.
When you can’t cry, opine, and can’t unwind your spine,
scant cures are made.
You can’t bring to your toes your fing-er for extracting
encrusting, picker feller.
Gone away, digit movement; stay in place you today; can’t go play
Tinder, feller!

Sphincter parts not, so you’ll start no fart; darts no stool
from your arse bay.
No dancing down the street: as if mud-stuck, your feet.
And above:
you can’t squawk, you can’t scream; you can’t go, there’s no streaming
departs, eh?!
Moving free cannot be. . .panic! foes packed your tea
with curare.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

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Patrick - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Lots of funny word-play by the master. At least your typing fingers were still free to move.
Susanna Viljanen - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Curare (another of those wonderful alkaloids) is a valuable muscle relaxant for surgery. Its effect will wear of in hours (providing artificial resipiration is provided).

Curare will take effect only if it is injected in the bloodstream. If it is swallowed (such as in tea), it will decompose in the intestine and have no effect. 555 milligrams.
TJC - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
So, like, Jay can't Scream?!!! I'm paralyzed with laughter!
John Lomain - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
That's a good parody
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - May 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Susanna is correct. Wikipedia details curare's complex pharmacology,"It is harmless if taken orally" (apparently; the experiment has not been attempted often, however). Your lyrics may contribute to the problems of confused undergrad students. But the idea of combining Borgia-type malicious toxicology and 'Italian' song is enticing. Try arsenic and phosphorous.

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