Don't feel like I'm burning
Because it's Nome that I live in.
But I'm dreamin' 'bout the Southland.
De rigueur in Alaska: thick skin
And a big swig o' gin, yes.

Now we got Mr. Young,* sent him down there,
D.C., that is one sleazy town.
Well I heard that Don Young was found there
Behind that Jack of all trades, who had his pants down.

Freezing Nome, Alaska,
Where the high might be 2.
Freeze bones of your ass there;
Florida, I'd come to you!

There's also Ted Stevens in Congress,
Who did what most in Congress do:
He brings the bacon home, and so we got a bridge
Goes nowhere; paid for by you.
"Net is tubes."**

Freezing Nome, Alaska,
Where the high might be 2.
Freeze bones of your ass there;
Go outside and I turn blue,
Freeze my buns in Alaska.

My muscles cold out on the tundra;
I go out there to pick off caribou.
Lord, getting off a shot's tough;
The frickin' trigger is frozen too!
I'm careworn, blue.

Freezing Nome, Alaska,
Where the high might be 2.
Freeze bones of your ass there;
Warmin', although, will ensue.

Beaches, Nome Alaska,
No-freeze Nome, baking,
Where's the high's 92.
We'll get global-warmed, too.
Heated Nome, Alaska,
Scorching!
Florid'ans flock here to cool.
Yeah, yeah, for frosty, please go to Barrow.


*Don Young, rep. from Alaska and Abramoff bag man.
**Like Young, Stevens is under investigation for criminal activity and/or impropriety. Senile as well as crooked, he once referred to the Internet as a "series of tubes."