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Song Parodies -> "He Was the Very Model of Incompetence in General"

Original Song Title:

"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilber and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"He Was the Very Model of Incompetence in General"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

He was the very model of incompetence in general,
Whose “election”: insurrection; dank Gott term was ephemeral!
He staged a coup ’cause in ’02 the public was hysterical,
And so they got Hollywood slut—bona fides chimerical.

We drank Kool-Aid because it played well at first—it seemed quaffable,
But soon we knew—and soon we’d rue—this bad actor deemed laughable
We hadn’t learned that actors turned to governors were not gut news—
We tried it once, got Ron the dunce and then got stuck with galoot views.

Done just that once with Ron the dunce; both out to lunch and not gut news.

There was the day he replaced Gray [Davis], and soon there came a paradox:
The state was broke, new guy blew smoke; we’d not had our fare share o’ shocks.
He’d promised that he’d trim the fat, and everyone gabbed, “Fabulous!”
He was all wet and now the debt’s like a gut that’s all flab to bust.

He was hell-sent and was hell-bent on going on a spending spree,
Came from L.A.; came hell to pay—there would not be a mending spree.
Implored that Kolifornee-a would financially sin no more.
His lips, moving, and thus proving: we’d heard this BS din before.

How do you know when a pol blows smoke? His lips move, there’s din galore.

We got the bills for folly, frills foisted off by this duly sworn
Leader of state; not long the wait to find out he was truly born
To be our bane, to cause us pain, yet in the ’06 general
Election our selection pow’r gave him four more—incredible!!

He’s a f**kup, yet we stuck up for him in ’06 general.

Predictably, inevit’bly, state continued unravelin’—
Legislators and governor, like petulant kids cavilin’.
Sacramento: bagman gents go to grab their swag from fatty cats;
They snare the loot and wear nice suits. . .gladrag-haberdashed natty rats.

The “Governator” was a traitor to his pledge that money’d be
Quite wisely spent. He’s helped by gents as well gals that monkeys’d be
Ashamed to know because they blow our dough by acting slatternly,
That is, they’re ho’s; and no ape goes to chimp pimp chatt’rin’, “Fatten me!”

Sacramento: if you should go, you’ll soon be acting slatternly.
The gov’s an ape from brow to nape, engaged most days back-scratchingly,
A chimp that primps while the state limps. . .a simian trimmed fashion’bly.

We gain knowledge not from college but from observing intently
Their behavior; they ain’t saviors, cruising in Porsches, in Bentleys.
In fact, in matters veritably scammeral, the pinnacle
They’ve reached; while we set breach, ready for steeled reach that be binnacle-
shaped and ain’t short, we can report; we’ve reason to be cynical.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Alte Mann Ribber - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
JAB - Ahhnold! Neither liberal or conservative enough for anybody, he does have one credential...he's married to a Kennedy offspring. BTW, being interested in all things political, how was actor George Murphy as a senator? Certainly no S.I. Hiyakawa I'd bet. Great parody. ;D
Michael Pacholek - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
This is how far conservatism has fallen in California: The people were actually willing to give a now-elderly Jerry Brown another chance, rather than elect another conservative. And if Ahnold wasn't conservative enough for you, then even that other weird Austrian, Sigmund Freud, couldn't have helped you!
Patrick - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
I have actually read some good things about Jerry Brown in regard to his handling of the gun issue in California. Looked up his Wikipedia article, sounds like he's good on fiscal matters, and I recall that he set an example of personal austerity when he was first elected governor. The only thing I liked about Arnold was how he became governor. What this country needs is not term limits but the power of recall.
AFW - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Not into Calif. politics, but I liked your inner and outer rhyming.
MadOnnaNorCal - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey, Captain Jacques de Barryl, Congrats on your proMotion as ~General uberSchlong~ . . . zehr gut, meinHerr !
John Barry - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
Danke, AMR, MP, Patrick, AFW, MONC. Und fick dich, eins Arschloch.
John Jenkins - December 29, 2010 - Report this comment
The assessment of Reagan is not as accurate as the assessment of Schwarzenegger, but this parody is very well-rhymed and entertaining.
Old Man Ribber - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
WOW! Michael- you are the left hand of the Almighty! JAB - Wonderful French, superior German, fine Spanish, passible are a cunning linguist! (Horrible cheap filthy pun for my favorite ex-cop!) ;D
UnKnownVotrix - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
. . Bas Auf ! ! ! . . . Colonel uberSchlong ! !

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