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Song Parodies -> "Take This Lecher, Maria"

Original Song Title:

"Take a Letter, Maria"

Original Performer:

R B Greaves

Parody Song Title:

"Take This Lecher, Maria"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Last night I got home about half past ten.
I'd just been with woman number 2;
She thinks adultery's a sin.
She worked on crewel; her glare was cruel--
She'd like to be stitching my skin.
She knows, each night when I go out
That the office ain't what I'm in.

Oh, take this lecher, Maria,
Caress me as a wife,
Like the one I hump at home;
I live a double life.
Make me a fletcher, Maria,
Arrow's springing to life;
See it poppin' through my draw-ers,
Slicin' 'em like a knife.

Spouse suffers the slings and arrows
Of fortune, as in Shakespeare's "to be. . . ."
Sometimes when I'm home I feel
That I some night might cease to be.
My late "work" provokes fights;
With tension the air is rife.
I'm worried she'll lay
Not me but hand on knife.

Oh, tame this lecher, Maria,
She's stressing me, my wife.
I don't have a happy home,
And I fear for my life.
Shake me a wet one, Maria,
Let gin caress the ice.
I don't dare de-tog my draw-ers;
I fear nuts in a vise.

A man can love two women.
That's hard to understand?!
I'm for the lore and scripture
Of a young man who's named Brig-ham.
Though I don't really follow belief in Moroni,
It's not happ'nin', polygamous rites
Wife won't do no bigam with me

I'm on a stretcher, Maria,
She vented me, my wife.
She had really sharply honed
That large, greatly feared knife.
You're on a stretcher, Maria;
You too have felt the knife.
Spouse shoppin' for divorce lawyer.
Will you please be my wife?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
especially liked the fletcher / arrow springing to life
Stan Hall - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Hmmm ... maybe next you can reach into your quiver of tricks for a riff on "I Caught some Girls With Ol' Boney Moroni" (say, Richie Valens's '59 cover)? :-)
littleCupCakes - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
You've just entered into a ~LECHER--FREE~ Zone~ . . . I shall grant thee the CABO-Wabo Award for your . . .
PS:. . .Sir John - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . this does move verrrry well, and I rather enjoy your honesty about being . . . "on the stetcher"!
John Barry - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Stan, Cakes.
Guy - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
And it is a grand pound of flesh you have carved out here, Sir John. Fine, fine job. Fresh and spunky.

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