Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Take This Lecher, Maria"

Original Song Title:

"Take a Letter, Maria"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

R B Greaves

Parody Song Title:

"Take This Lecher, Maria"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Last night I got home about half past ten.
I'd just been with woman number 2;
She thinks adultery's a sin.
She worked on crewel; her glare was cruel--
She'd like to be stitching my skin.
She knows, each night when I go out
That the office ain't what I'm in.

Oh, take this lecher, Maria,
Caress me as a wife,
Like the one I hump at home;
I live a double life.
Make me a fletcher, Maria,
Arrow's springing to life;
See it poppin' through my draw-ers,
Slicin' 'em like a knife.

Spouse suffers the slings and arrows
Of fortune, as in Shakespeare's "to be. . . ."
Sometimes when I'm home I feel
That I some night might cease to be.
My late "work" provokes fights;
With tension the air is rife.
I'm worried she'll lay
Not me but hand on knife.

Oh, tame this lecher, Maria,
She's stressing me, my wife.
I don't have a happy home,
And I fear for my life.
Shake me a wet one, Maria,
Let gin caress the ice.
I don't dare de-tog my draw-ers;
I fear nuts in a vise.

A man can love two women.
That's hard to understand?!
I'm for the lore and scripture
Of a young man who's named Brig-ham.
Though I don't really follow belief in Moroni,
It's not happ'nin', polygamous rites
Wife won't do no bigam with me

I'm on a stretcher, Maria,
She vented me, my wife.
She had really sharply honed
That large, greatly feared knife.
You're on a stretcher, Maria;
You too have felt the knife.
Spouse shoppin' for divorce lawyer.
Will you please be my wife?

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
especially liked the fletcher / arrow springing to life bit...lol
Stan Hall - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Hmmm ... maybe next you can reach into your quiver of tricks for a riff on "I Caught some Girls With Ol' Boney Moroni" (say, Richie Valens's '59 cover)? :-)
littleCupCakes - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
You've just entered into a ~LECHER--FREE~ Zone~ . . . I shall grant thee the CABO-Wabo Award for your . . .
PS:. . .Sir John - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . this does move verrrry well, and I rather enjoy your honesty about being . . . "on the stetcher"!
John Barry - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, Stan, Cakes.
Guy - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
And it is a grand pound of flesh you have carved out here, Sir John. Fine, fine job. Fresh and spunky.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/rbgreaves3.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 698