-> "I Am the Wal-Mart"
Original Song Title:
"I Am the Walrus"
Parody Song Title:
"I Am the Wal-Mart"
The Lyrics
I Am the Wal-Mart
Nearly free, made by Chinese, for real small fees, this holster is faux leather.
Gee, ain't it fun to sell kids big guns. See how they die.
I'm lying.
I can get you cornflakes. . .got a trailer truck with some.
Cornucopic T-shirts—got a sale on Tuesday.
Some say I'm a naughty boy, doin' the downtowns wrong.
I'm the renege man, I'm the renege man,
I am the Wal-Mart.
Super coop coup.
Edge-of-city lease plan.
I've got politicians lined up in a row.
See when I lie how loosely my lips fly
Hear my mouth run:
I'm lying. I'm lying.
I'm lying. I'm lying.
I've got fat-free custard, shipped in vats we call "hog size."
Crab and pollock fishsticks, ported to you freezed-fresh.
Look for hot deals on stickers that show our big markdowns.
I'm the renege man, I'm the renege man,
I am the Wal-Mart.
Super coop coup.
Is that standard English, pardon?
You see, I'm southern.
Some say I sound dumb, but here our tongue's,
Kind of like English Shakespeare spake.
I'm the renege man, I'm the renege man,
I am the Wal-Mart.
Super-coop coup soon comin' to you.
Experts, schmexperts! Smokescreened voters,
Can't you see that the joke is on you?
See how I smile as I dig your eye,
My finger high,
I'm prying.
Haven't seen much pilf'rage—'cause I've got big buying power.
Sellin' many pens, pins; floggin' Harry Potter;
Ads that make us seem like friendly hicks—our shtik cornpone.
I'm the renege man, I'm the renege man,
I am the Wal-Mart.
Super-coop coup soon comin' to you.
Super-coop coup soon comin' to you.
Coup, yah! Coup, yah! Coup, yah! Coup, yah!
Everyone else marks up, everyone else marks up, everyone else marks up. . . .
[The original had a sotto voce recitation at the end of a passage from "Richard the Third," I believe. For this: "The Merchant of Venice."]
Recitation:
I am debating of my present store:
And, by the near guess of my memory,
I cannot instantly raise up the gross.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 3.2 | |
How Funny: | 3.2 | |
Overall Rating: | 3.2 | |
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Total Votes: | 6 |
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Voting Breakdown
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