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Song Parodies -> "Pee-Ample Man"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Pee-Ample Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday;
I've ingested buckets of gin.
Ain't been to men's room since 5:03--
No output, but a lot goin' in.

I'm quite drunk, but I've still got my memory
In which there's an image of flows,
Then I make a retreat; no time to lift the seat--
It pours from the hole in my clothes.


Spring from my dong; I'm pee-ample man,
Spring from my schlong. . .fill a bight.
In a mood for micturition flowin' free--
"Pisso mojado" sign's in sight.

The john of the bar's where I'm spendin' time;
The drinks entered now exit me,
And I'll soon need a boat that will help me to float
Off on this sallow and saline sea.

The room's fillin'; I went on a swillin' spree,
And vials of once-beer surge toward my face.
I'd sooner be harnessed to a schooner's spar--
I'm dang'rously close to a taste.


Spring from my dong; I'm pee-ample man,
Spring from my schlong. . .fill a bight.
Now I brood for micturition flowin' free--
Might pass, ahogado,* tonight.

Now, H. Melville was a great novelist
Who wrote of a whale that was white.
He never met Jones, Davy; these whitecaps are wavy--
I might see the locker tonight.

I waited too long for a paltry piss,
And it's getting too late to atone.
I don't know how I'll get out of this mess--
I'd locked the door for whizzin' alone .


Sing Mayday song, I screech, alto-man,
Sing, but no one hears my plight.
Now I brood for micturition flowin' free--
I'm pissed, though I should feel contrite.

Pressure breaks the door down, outpour saturates
Every patron, man, woman, and child.
So the moral, you see, is to frequently pee
And not save it up for a long while.

The long corridor now looks like a canal
A yell: "Get the lifeboats into here."
It came from an old tar who got wet at the bar
And realized that it wasn't beer.


Sink did I not, though pee-ample man,
Sink did I not tonight.
We all float down the street on a yellow stream
And surge seaward past the red light


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   4

User Comments

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Johnny D - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
ARRRRGH matey, yer pee be turnin' the green sea BLUE!
alvin - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
PEE-utiful job
Johnny D - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Oops, matey, me should'a been sayin' yer pee be turnin' the blue sea GREEN! ARRRRGH!!
John Barry - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD, Alvin.
Ann Hammond - January 17, 2008 - Report this comment
mist peeing I mean missed seeing this earlier
Michael Pacholek - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Urine fine form today. Even Larry Craig would like this one.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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