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Song Parodies -> "I Am Botoxed"

Original Song Title:

"I Am a Rock"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"I Am Botoxed"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

A squint? No way!
’cause the peeper arcs de-temblored. . .
My pan[1] of stone.
Moving from my chinbone to my feet below,
But my flesh won’t fall where spike-fed gouts do go.
I am botoxed,
I can’t stop smiling.

My skin crawl?
It’s fortified. . .deep spiking.
The puncture penetrates.
I have a needle friendship;
Flesh stick can cause pain—
Nix laughter. . .as if stuffed with Lidocaine.
I am botoxed,
I’m frozen-smiling.

I’m on this drug
That’s derm-merged by girlie [man] whore.[2]
It’s keeping visage tremble-free.
Fine poke, then surge from plunger; the needle’s been applied;
It’s a sunk-in dunk that pumps the junk inside.
I am botoxed,
My pan is smiling.

I have ice looks,
Post the pokery that that bo-rects[3] me.
I am shielded. . .skin like armor.
Hide of the entombed, facially I’m groomed—
Don’t touch me ’cause the toughness is eerie.
I am botoxed,
On CSPAN smiling.

Post-botox. . .feel no pain
Frozen smile, nonblinking eye.


1 face
2 i.e., Arnold Schwarzenegger
3 rectifies

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

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Andy Primus - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
A waste of cash that ruins a fizzog and leaves the owner looking like a freak. Caught me out with temblor (US only word) so I thought I'd try to catch you out with fizzog (UK only word).
Timmy1000 - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Darn - there's a few more wrinkles you caused by making me laugh - well written and funny. Great title switch.
alvin - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
smoooooooooooooth
Christie Marie M - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Never had botox yet, neither did my mom. Hope we don't have to get one soon! 555 botox injections!
TJC - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Ha! Joan River's new theme song is bo'rn!
Fiddlegirl - October 01, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm trying to laugh, but I'm having a bit of trouble... ;) No wrinkles in this one that I can see!

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