Song Parodies -> I Am Botoxed
| Original Song Title: | "I Am a Rock" |
| Original Performer: | Simon & Garfunkel |
| Parody Song Title: | "I Am Botoxed" |
| Parody Written by: | John A. Barry |
A squint? No way!
’cause the peeper arcs de-temblored. . .
My pan[1] of stone.
Moving from my chinbone to my feet below,
But my flesh won’t fall where spike-fed gouts do go.
I am botoxed,
I can’t stop smiling.
My skin crawl?
It’s fortified. . .deep spiking.
The puncture penetrates.
I have a needle friendship;
Flesh stick can cause pain—
Nix laughter. . .as if stuffed with Lidocaine.
I am botoxed,
I’m frozen-smiling.
I’m on this drug
That’s derm-merged by girlie [man] whore.[2]
It’s keeping visage tremble-free.
Fine poke, then surge from plunger; the needle’s been applied;
It’s a sunk-in dunk that pumps the junk inside.
I am botoxed,
My pan is smiling.
I have ice looks,
Post the pokery that that bo-rects[3] me.
I am shielded. . .skin like armor.
Hide of the entombed, facially I’m groomed—
Don’t touch me ’cause the toughness is eerie.
I am botoxed,
On CSPAN smiling.
Post-botox. . .feel no pain
Frozen smile, nonblinking eye.
1 face
2 i.e., Arnold Schwarzenegger
3 rectifies
’cause the peeper arcs de-temblored. . .
My pan[1] of stone.
Moving from my chinbone to my feet below,
But my flesh won’t fall where spike-fed gouts do go.
I am botoxed,
I can’t stop smiling.
My skin crawl?
It’s fortified. . .deep spiking.
The puncture penetrates.
I have a needle friendship;
Flesh stick can cause pain—
Nix laughter. . .as if stuffed with Lidocaine.
I am botoxed,
I’m frozen-smiling.
I’m on this drug
That’s derm-merged by girlie [man] whore.[2]
It’s keeping visage tremble-free.
Fine poke, then surge from plunger; the needle’s been applied;
It’s a sunk-in dunk that pumps the junk inside.
I am botoxed,
My pan is smiling.
I have ice looks,
Post the pokery that that bo-rects[3] me.
I am shielded. . .skin like armor.
Hide of the entombed, facially I’m groomed—
Don’t touch me ’cause the toughness is eerie.
I am botoxed,
On CSPAN smiling.
Post-botox. . .feel no pain
Frozen smile, nonblinking eye.
1 face
2 i.e., Arnold Schwarzenegger
3 rectifies
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| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments Follow...
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A waste of cash that ruins a fizzog and leaves the owner looking like a freak. Caught me out with temblor (US only word) so I thought I'd try to catch you out with fizzog (UK only word).
Darn - there's a few more wrinkles you caused by making me laugh - well written and funny. Great title switch.
smoooooooooooooth
Never had botox yet, neither did my mom. Hope we don't have to get one soon! 555 botox injections!
Ha! Joan River's new theme song is bo'rn!
I'm trying to laugh, but I'm having a bit of trouble... ;) No wrinkles in this one that I can see!
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