Song Parodies -> You Won't Beat Me
| Original Song Title: | "You Won't See Me" |
| Original Performer: | Beatles |
| Parody Song Title: | "You Won't Beat Me" |
| Parody Written by: | John A. Barry |
You won't truss me up;
My lusts are strange
You huff in rebuff,
In fact, "deranged."
I offer you line--
You politely decline.
You spurn the cat o' nine,
And you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).
I don't know why you
Just can't abide
A lashing. . .eschew
Tanning my hide.
Macht nichts what I say;
Mas'chists you will not flay.
So I won't squirm away,
'cause you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).
Stripe after stripe. . .
You refuse to be complicit.
Won't take a swipe
Or even play for me "Whip It."
There's no flays from you;
That's become clear.
What I've got into
Brings me no cheer.
You jeer me: It's wrong. . .
Girl with an arm strong
To lay a lash upon.
No, you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).
Swipe after swipe. . .
You refuse to be complicit.
I start to gripe;
You dismiss me as a sick twit.
So I say to you:
"Alright, my dear,
Can't talk you into
Leashing my rear.
So I'll run along
To girls with arms strong
And they'll teach me I'm wrong:
In [parochial] school, they'll beat me
(School they'll beat me),
School they'll beat me
(Ruler-beat me).
My lusts are strange
You huff in rebuff,
In fact, "deranged."
I offer you line--
You politely decline.
You spurn the cat o' nine,
And you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).
I don't know why you
Just can't abide
A lashing. . .eschew
Tanning my hide.
Macht nichts what I say;
Mas'chists you will not flay.
So I won't squirm away,
'cause you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).
Stripe after stripe. . .
You refuse to be complicit.
Won't take a swipe
Or even play for me "Whip It."
There's no flays from you;
That's become clear.
What I've got into
Brings me no cheer.
You jeer me: It's wrong. . .
Girl with an arm strong
To lay a lash upon.
No, you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).
Swipe after swipe. . .
You refuse to be complicit.
I start to gripe;
You dismiss me as a sick twit.
So I say to you:
"Alright, my dear,
Can't talk you into
Leashing my rear.
So I'll run along
To girls with arms strong
And they'll teach me I'm wrong:
In [parochial] school, they'll beat me
(School they'll beat me),
School they'll beat me
(Ruler-beat me).
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A belter (pun intended) of a parody. 555
Ya whipped up another good'n here, JAB. :-)
you need to find a young whippersnapper
You just can't beat a parody like this.
Pirate Jack Sparrow, oh, there is nothing like a ~balsam ruler~ in the hands of a nun . . . .
Thanks, Jason, Stan, Alvin, Mason, Cat.
JB - Nuns seem to be in the habit of overusing the ruler. Liked the Devo ref. A few years back there was a period of over three weeks where about 7 or 8 of us kept writing "Whip It" parodies until we whipped the snot out of it. One cat of five tails so ordered. Make it so.
Painfully funny...looks as though you are tackling the Fab 4's catalog. Be sure to eyeball Rick Duncan's song list for ideas to not use.
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