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Song Parodies -> "You Won't Beat Me"

Original Song Title:

"You Won't See Me"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"You Won't Beat Me"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

You won't truss me up;
My lusts are strange
You huff in rebuff,
In fact, "deranged."
I offer you line--
You politely decline.
You spurn the cat o' nine,
And you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).

I don't know why you
Just can't abide
A lashing. . .eschew
Tanning my hide.

Macht nichts what I say;
Mas'chists you will not flay.
So I won't squirm away,
'cause you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).

Stripe after stripe. . .
You refuse to be complicit.
Won't take a swipe
Or even play for me "Whip It."

There's no flays from you;
That's become clear.
What I've got into
Brings me no cheer.
You jeer me: It's wrong. . .
Girl with an arm strong
To lay a lash upon.
No, you won't beat me
(You won't beat me).

Swipe after swipe. . .
You refuse to be complicit.
I start to gripe;
You dismiss me as a sick twit.

So I say to you:
"Alright, my dear,
Can't talk you into
Leashing my rear.
So I'll run along
To girls with arms strong
And they'll teach me I'm wrong:
In [parochial] school, they'll beat me
(School they'll beat me),
School they'll beat me
(Ruler-beat me).

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Jason - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
A belter (pun intended) of a parody. 555
Stan Hall - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Ya whipped up another good'n here, JAB. :-)
alvin - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
you need to find a young whippersnapper
MasonR - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
You just can't beat a parody like this.
lilCatolicker - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Pirate Jack Sparrow, oh, there is nothing like a ~balsam ruler~ in the hands of a nun . . . .
John Barry - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jason, Stan, Alvin, Mason, Cat.
Guy - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
JB - Nuns seem to be in the habit of overusing the ruler. Liked the Devo ref. A few years back there was a period of over three weeks where about 7 or 8 of us kept writing "Whip It" parodies until we whipped the snot out of it. One cat of five tails so ordered. Make it so.
Agrimorfee - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Painfully funny...looks as though you are tackling the Fab 4's catalog. Be sure to eyeball Rick Duncan's song list for ideas to not use.

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