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Song Parodies -> "Topaz"

Original Song Title:

"Old Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Neil Young

Parody Song Title:

"Topaz"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

“Topaz” (1969), usually brandy figures heavily in Hitchcock films, but in this one, it’s J&B Scotch.
“Topaz”—intrigue is rife
For the ’cock flick viewer.
“Topaz”—intrigue is rife;
Mike’s[1] the interviewer.

“Topaz”—Boris and wife[2]
Come ashore
With info to pour
Out about some French parasites
With Russians in cahoots.

Those Frogs, scurvy dogs
Doing things
That make agog
NATO agents who must stop
Gallic prostitutes.

“Topaz” is the codename that’s liked
By these prostitutes.
But the agents are lucky—
Mike’s got a cute
Pal, André[3], who will spy, not shoot.

Gulls the guys who are spies
For the Russkies; first goes down
To that green island; I mean,
That of Pig Bay repute.

Then he curses ’cause his mas-
ters say, “Qu’est ce qui se passe?
We did not give you a pass
To go down there. Zut!”

“Topaz” is the name that the spies
Who still ain’t snared use.
André suffers his superiors’ abuse
But he will not stop till he uncovers the ruse. . . .

“Topaz”—intrigue is rife
For this ’cock flick’s viewers
“Topaz”—most of them liked
It. . .not, some reviewers.


[1]Michael Nordstrom, as played by John Forsythe
[2]Boris Kusenov and his wife, Russian defectors
[3]André Devereaux, as played by Frederick Stafford



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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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Old Man Ribber - March 30, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - Plus the late lamented John Vernon as the revolutionary! ;D

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