Raucous get-down Christmas party--
With "Kiss me!" on Pat I hop.
Kicks her toes where I'm hung, heartily. . .
Got a couple twice-size rocks.

Now I've got a test'-amended feelin', and I hear
Birds chirping'; I'm kinda groggy
Guess I'd been too rum-eggnoggy.

Rocks achin' down where she kicked me,
So I go find an ice tray,
Stuff it down my pants hastily,
From the tray, cubes drift away.

[ice-cube interlude]

Rocks of ice are stickin' to me
Like my tongue back on the day
When it affixed to cold pole of steel
At recess when we did play.

I'm gettin' a hypothermal feelin' as those clear
Cubes cling to bruised, blistered baller.
"Heck!"--my euphemistic holler.

Oxycontins--I, quick, down three.
Soon I'm zapped and wholly dazed.
Testes descended when I was 3,
But back up they have been raised.