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Song Parodies -> "Con-Words Griftin’ Fauxsters"

Original Song Title:

"Onward, Christian Soldiers"

Original Performer:

Sabine Baring-Gould

Parody Song Title:

"Con-Words Griftin’ Fauxsters"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Con-words Griftin’ fauxsters—
marks they’re gonna gore.
With the con that Jesus
wants them to have more.
Christ-disloyal grafters
scream words that aren't so.
Homilies they babble
to their addled schmoes.

Con-words Griftin’ fauxsters
from marks will get scores.
Shtik’s the con of Jesus
crowing, “Give ’em more!”

It’s a malign triumph:
raking in money
from Christians they’ve sold a
tale with fakery.
They hound congregations
to give up their pay.
Say the only choice is
to do what they say.

Con-words Griftin’ gropers
for a lot then more.
Marks are then releasing
scores, and then—encores.

Often mighty smarmy
are the schmoozer frauds,
till those conned are shedding
funds believed for God.
To these frauds they’re tithing
big loads of money.
Can’t ken: It’s a conjob,
even when funds-fleeced.

Con-words Griftin’ phonies
from marks will get more.
Trick’s the con of Jesus
going, “Give encore!”

Defrauding the sheeple
is so nasty, wrong.
But jokers rejoice when
they’ve pulled their next con.
Coerce flocks to offer
bucks and diamond rings
by a sham as craven
as a mobster sting.

Spawned-scourge “Christian” boasters
barking for encores.
Shtik’s the fraud that Jesus
wants them to have more

Strong-words Christian hopers
are not out to score
with rigged laws of Jesus…
believed to their core.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   27
 27
 27
 

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - March 16, 2024 - Report this comment
Good parody, and that's the truth! Well, it's an opinion, which can be neither true nor false, but it is sincere.

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