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Song Parodies -> "Grizzled Old Nick"

Original Song Title:

"Little Saint Nick"

Original Performer:

Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Grizzled Old Nick"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Oh no, merry is not Old Nick,
Old Nick don't fill you with cheer,

Like way-nuts North*, who's an anus hole,
There's a tail-of-red pitch man that will scald your soul,
A squeal heinous rat that Mess'd up and led
Us to fears and a postelection sense of dread.

It's Dick, grizzled Old Nick,
Grizzled Old Nick.
It's Dick, grifters his clique,
Grifters his clique.

And Dick leads the undead
As the grizzled Old Nick.
If his heart starts a-sloggin',
In him more stents stick.
His javelin tail's red
And the fire he can't feel.
From his mouth issues hot gas,
Man's flesh is his meal.

It's Dick, grizzled Old Nick,
Grizzled Old Nick.
Sh*t! The triggers go "click,"
Triggers go "click."

Run, run in fear,
Run, run in fear,
Run, run from here,
Shotgun is near--
He don't miss no one.

And snortin' up the blow
Is his lightweight freak,
Chuggin' down dozens of beers
And unable to speak.
Or else his words are garbled;
He don't know sh*t from Shi',
But this loser is a sham;
Dick's really the head guy.

It's Dick, grizzled Old Nick,
Grinchy old pr**k.
With a pitchfork he'll stick,
Pitchfork he'll stick.

Scary hitman, Old Nick.
Dick don't miss; he'll shred your ear.

Scary hitman, Old Nick.
Dick engenders loathing, fear.

Marriage: "chick, man": Old Nick.
Dick nixed same-sex hitches; here. . .

Mary's nixed man, Old Nick?
. . .is dick's dyke chick, gender's queer.

Malted-drink man, Old Nick.
Dick sips strictly Maudite** beer.

**"The Damned One," Quebec-brewed malt beverage with a representation of the devil in the logo.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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alvin - December 19, 2007 - Report this comment
is it coincidence that S-A-N-T-A is an anagram of S-A-T-A-N ?...i think not
Cakes - December 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Sir John, most Luciferous!
Guy - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
What a dick. What does Ollie have to do with this? I retroed back to the late 60's and got a flashback of Dick Nixon. The slogan of the day was "Don't switch Dick's in the middle of a screw - Vote for Nixon in '72". Only other DICK I can think of is Gephardt and he'd have the biggest caucus if he were running today. Stugots! I'll five this on entainertain quality only. I seriously missed the point here but it was well written as always, Sir John..

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