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Song Parodies -> "A Rubber’s Not Right for Us"

Original Song Title:

"Another One Bites the Dust"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"A Rubber’s Not Right for Us"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

See talks scarily about heat
In the quim that’s staked by Joe.
“When Joe pounds at the mound, it ain’t mete
To spurn them sperm; let ’em go.
We ain’t ready, we ain’t ready for this,
To be banging with a vulcanized sheath.
Out of the pourway the balls’ pips drip,”
Says the clown who’s their chief.

“Drip, drip, drip,
A rubber’s not right for us,
Drip, drip, drip,
A rubber’s not right for us.
Get another one spawned and another one spawned,
A rubber's not right for us.
Hey, lay off the latex, dude,
A rubber’s not right for us.

“Don’t use that thing, no, don’t you get it on;
You spout, dude, then you spawn.
Get STDs, well that’s just too bad;
Don’t stick that thing on your bone.

“You get clappy from a shack-up time--
The wages of sin ain’t sweet.
Into that pourway the balls’ pips drip--
Don’t you get down and eat!

“Dip tip, drip,
A rubber’s not right for us,
Dip tip, drip,
A rubber’s not right for us.
Get another one spawned and another one spawned,
A rubber’s not right for us.
Hey, don’t stray to gay sex, dude,
To bugger ain’t right for lust.

“When men get laid, ain’t no birthing ban;
That dink should not be crowned.
He’s: don’t beat it!
She’s: don’t eat it!
I’ll repeat it: lad, don’t sheathe it,
Wenching-bound.
Butts, don’t wrench ’em when you’re ready to woo.
I’m The Man, and this I entreat.”
Mouthpiece for yore ways, this bullsh!it shtik’s
Beat and clownishly obsolete,

[sotto voce]
“It’s bullsh!t,
It’s rubbish that I do gush,
It’s bullsh!t,
It’s rubbish, yet I don’t hush.
There’s another Bull spawned and another Bull spawned,
It’s rubbish that I do gush.
Laymen, have no gay-sex ’tude
To bugger’s tykes--liked by US.

It’s rubbish that I do gush,
It’s rubbish, yet I don’t hush,
It’s rubbish, and I live plush!!”



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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 2
 2
 
 5   6
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 6
 

User Comments

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Jim Rotondo - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Another brilliant epic John, something you can sell to the quartet in Family Guy, no question, a great compliment to their vasectomy song.
Joe Siebert - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah, this one's really good. I liked what you did with the chorus too. Perfect score.
John Barry - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jim, Joe.
malcolm higgins - March 20, 2009 - Report this comment
I gave it 5-5-5 but the pope hit me when I did

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