Bake it, tack, bake it, tack;
Bake that hardtack; slide it down here.
Bite and fray. . .slight decay--
Bake that hardtack; canines mouth-shear.

Don't ever bake me no unseemly bread;
It's too soft and squeezy--teeth naught to shred.
Hard stuff I'm loving--don't mean hair
Of the dog; I'm takin' 'bout unleavened fare.

Bake it, tack, bake it, tack;
Bake that hardtack; slide it down here.

You've got a great knead;
Your kneading technique thrives,
But when it's time to feed--
No whole grain with chives.
So come on, bake me something today
That's harder than a rock. . .no pan dulce.

Bake it, tack, bake it, tack;
Bake that hardtack; slide it down here.

You've got a great knead;
Keep leavening aside
So when it's time to feed--
Product's flat and wide.
So come on, make me something today
Hard as a fry pan in which I sauté.

Bake it, tack, bake it, tack;
Bake that hardtack; slide it down here

Don't like it springy; got to have it hard;
Won't even taste it 'less it's tough as a glass shard.
So come on, make me something today
That's gonna sandblast enamel away.

Bake it, tack, bake it, tack;
Bake that hardtack; canines mouth-shear.