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Song Parodies -> "Quasimodo"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"Quasimodo"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

In old Paris, when Louis’s king,
A boy meets girl, sweeps her away.

Some say, loon is this guy, got a disfigured eye,
Quasimodo.
With a visage like swine, swigs like a pig swill wine—
Quasi-Rhône blows.

Bells he’ll ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling,
And they’ll say, “C’est très belle, non?”
On Sunday, sip-vintage fun day, dipso-tipsy bray—
Can that maimed fellow bellow!

He’s crowned “pope,” and that’s cruel, but he plays the part of fool,
Quasimodo.
Dancing out on the street, girl meets lout; she’s so sweet;
He’s in love.
He gives her a smile’s beam; she eyes him and high screams,
Qualm’d, “He’s oh so
Butt-ugly!” But it’s he saves sweet she from horny
Claude “Mean” Frollo.

She has swooned, so this guy rescues her, takes her high. . .
Vertigo, no
. . .to the parapets’ clime, where he makes his “girls” chime,
Clanging tolls grow.
Bells he’ll ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling,
And he’ll say, “Vous, très belle, non?”
“It’s OK, fellow, to ‘tu’ say.” Down below’s a fray
The mob brays; it’s not mellow.
How they bellow.

It’s hump day. . .works like mule with his crude parapet tools,
Quasimodo
From the Dame the crowd meets boiling oil; ouch! there’s heat
From above!
Down it streams; the crowd teems; loud shouts, screams; down show’r beams
Crashing. Oh-oh!
Noosed is she ’ventually; his love for her, can he
Quash it—oh, no!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Sanctuary! Why wasn't I made of stone? lol ;D
Fiddlegirl - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Our Lady of Perpetual Punnery bestows 3 5s :D
TJC - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Great wordsmithery, John, with yer uber-unpredictable verbage n' juxtaproseitions... love the choice of OS, especially since Quasi was--and history buffs will back me up on this--a member of the original-original 'Rat Pack'!
Timmy1000 - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Very well written and telling of the bellringer tale.
metaphorsbwithu - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved the OS. Dean martin hated it and didn't want to record it. Was thinking of doing a parody on it too at one time but this is as good as it gets. 555
AFW - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment
I had a hunch-back when I first read this, that you'd be gettin' lotta' votes...
blackjack21 - September 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Echo TJC, wordsmithing supreme. And LOL at AFW!

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