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Song Parodies -> "Boehner Is 'Boner'"

Original Song Title:

"Only the Lonely"

Original Performer:

Roy Orbison

Parody Song Title:

"Boehner Is 'Boner'"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Dummkopf, dat's Deutsch; so's our boy's
Name that somehow got long "A"
Sound when he transliterates
Boehner for Böhner.

Boehner is "Boner"
("Dunce" ain't cognate of "Dummkopf")
Though each for this guy sounds right
(Like him with, too, false cognate. . .)
Boehner's a boner
(. . .One who can't cogitate, Dub)
Each a bonehead and a fright
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blaß*
[and in Alsace-Lorraine:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blague**]

He says it "Bayner";
He's got it part
Right, he's a bane; sure
Wish he'd depart.

This bonehead's named Boner;
He tries
This guy
"Bayner" for "Berner."***

Of den of dunce denizens,
Let Foley follow young men
Who gave him boners.

Bonehead's named Boehner,
Unfortunate name, it's true.
If I were "Boner,"
I would say "Bayner" too.

"Boner"'d cause sorrow;
Here's "Webster's" stance. . .
Meaning's not narrow:
1. Tool for romance
2. One who bones takes
3. "Clumsy, stupid mistake"
Number 3's Boehner.

Dunce, Dummkopf, dummy, douchebag.

*pale, sallow; keine blasse Ahnung: "not the faintest idea"
**blunder, stupid mistake
**The approximated German pronunciation of Böhner (the ö is transliterated to oe for English purposes), is "ber-ner," with the r in "ber," dropped, sort of New England style. The result sounds like neither "Bayner" nor "Boner." But Boehner looks like "Boner," not "Bayner." (And when's the last time you heard anyone mention a "Hayner" harmonica?) Bohner, without the umlaut, and pronounced "Boner," means floor-polisher.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Just call yourself saltpeter, 'cause you're bad to the boner! And ain't it funny how, when John Boehner cried, no right-wingers said he was too hysterical to be House Minority Leader? Well, he's certainly too dishonest to be Speaker! You want the truth? This gets a five, and that's the truth!
alvin - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
might be a good name if he was a porn star...but i don't blame the guy for wishing for another name...funny take
LME - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Damned Yanks

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