Try just a dram
When there's achin' in your tooth.
Try just a dram,
Know you'll feel better forsooth.

Opium, listen, there's not much you must pay,
Girl, I will laud. you
I'll laudanum you
Opiates, night or day

Try just a dram,
Kills the pain; it's a good buy
Try just a dram,
In later argot: you'll get high.

Girl, your teeth are causin' you to rue.
I will laud. you,
I'll "laudanumb" you.
Opiates, our first date, you'll feel great. . . .