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Song Parodies -> "Stinkin' Sitzmarks!"

Original Song Title:

"SInk the Bismark"

Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"Stinkin' Sitzmarks!"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Stinkin' Sitzmarks!

The temperature is 41, under a warming sun.
Let's hope that the mercury dips
To harden up the runs.
The sitzmarks can cause you to trip
When they have caught your skis,
Or at least cause them to veer,
And you'll run into the trees.
Wish it was cold and foggy; tight
Up then I'd cinch my hood.
But as it is the sun's rays penetrate through the woods.
So do not blink, the sitzmarks are very hard to see.
If they catch your skis, you'll veer
And go pell-mell into trees.

Why do we use this German word?
And also one like schuss?
I guess it's because sitzmark
Was foisted off on us.
You'll hit the deck when running slopes
And get spun all around
If you should blink, a sitzmark might grab and take you down.

There is no good sitzmark; they just get in your way.
And sitzmarks can be tiring when you dodge 'em all day.
You cannot blink, the sitzmarks are lurkin' in the ground.
The trails aren't cleared today, and you might be fallin' down.
There's long delays now at the lines,
Keepin' you from the trails.
Bunny hills aren't steep, but rope tows'll burn your tail.
Now there's a big commotion—
Here's the patrol on skis.
Someone blinked; a sitzmark made his bottom hit the piste.

Why do we employ a French word?
To describe the snow's crust?
I guess 'cause piste, like sitzmark,
Was foisted off on us.
Don't hit the deck when running slopes
And get spun all around.
'Cause if you blink, a sitzmark might grab and take you down.

The fog rolled in, and that's OK,
'Cause it's blocking out the sun.
Now if they'd just groom this land. . .
Get sitzmarks off the runs.
Admirable would be that feat—
To make conditions sound.
But guys who drive German-made tracks
Are nowhere to be found.

By now the runs are maimed.
I just fell—this time, my last.
And I yelled at the sitzmark:
"I'm gonna ski right past
Those German words that rattle hips, and drown the memory.
Stinking sitzmarks! Let's go; I will buy
Some drinks for apres-ski."

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

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