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Song Parodies -> "Oprah Eat, Oprah Large"

Original Song Title:

"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"

Original Performer:

Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Oprah Eat, Oprah Large"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I was in line at the grocery story, perusing headlines in the paper of record, the "National Enquirer," one of which informed me that Oprah's weight had ballooned again, this time due to an impending "showdown" with Stedman, a "stead" man, according to rumors about Oprah's gender proclivities. All this brought to mind a "letter" from John Warner [then married to Liz Taylor] to the "National Lampoon": "Liz is so fat that when I want to make love to her, I have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot."
Stedman has to burrow in to mark the place--
Jolly roger springs to take a stand.
Stedman says, "By golly. . .likes to feed her face,
A hot dog and and huge hunk of ham held in each hand."

Oprah eat, Oprah large; bites go on: barge;
Oh my, how those bites go on.
Oprah eat, Oprah large; bites go on: barge;
Oh my, sprightly light she's non-.

Stedman's feeling sorry 'cause his jewels are stored
Tightly in his meant-to-carry sling.
Takes it out for boring at the baby door,
But he can't slip it to her till she shrinks her thing.

Oprah eat, Oprah large; bites go on: barge;
Oh my, how those bites go on.
Oprah be oh so large; bites go on: starch;
Oh my, sprightly light she's non-.

She's a couple of rears; fills, eats out of house and home.
Got a couple of chins; drunk ale by the yard--
Her peso tops 20 stone.

Happy he is not: he cannot dart the place;
Stedman's given up and takes his hand. . .
Jolly-making. . .bone done at a frisky pace,
Because the eatin' beast's passed 80 kilograms.

Oprah eat, Oprah large; bites go on: barge;
Oh my, how those bites go on.
Oprah be oh so large; bites go on: starch.
Oh my, sprightly light she's non-.
Oprah eat, Oprah large; bites go on: barge;
Oh my, how those bites go on.
Oprah be oh so large; bites go on: barge;
Oh my, sprightly light she's non-.

She's been labeled as "queer"; has she made a hom'-she home?
Is the labial dip done by cunning pard,
So Stedman's a ball-less drone?
(Lard pard [re]tards sparred hard)

Happy gal is snacking at a scarf-it pace.
Paw begets no children. . . .Stedy hand.
Read the rag at home. . .back to the marketplace
To git more readin' for when sittin' on the can.

Oeuvre's ledes be so arch. I go on, parched
For "Enquirer"; I can't stop.
Oprah eat, Oprah large; bites go on: barge.
"Enquirer"'s over the top.

She's gonna top a ton
Weight's over the "fat" mark.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   6
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User Comments

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McKludge - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
So how will Oprah's weight gain play in the Obama campaign?
Jack Wilson - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job, now do a parody of Lady Madonna about a certain body part of Oprah's
In awe... - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantastic word play and word selection (had to look up 'pard')... canalready hear your follow-up along same lines (fat & gay) with 'Oprahoma' & 'Oprahomo' interplay... AIR's 'El Greco' surely deserves over the top marks, but alas all I can give is these Fabulous Fat Fives!
alvin - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
i howled nonstop...one of the funniest you've ever written
unKnownVotress - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
< !!! >
Peregrin - April 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Buwahahah, 5's for you AND John Warner!

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