A few of the boys' films I'd miss;
Most give hold-your-sides comic bliss.
These guys were way beyond cool;
None was afraid to play the fool.
They gave pretense the kiss-off,
Sometimes spoke in iambs.
One writer, S.J Perelman,
Was a dialog wonder man;
His jokes have me rolling
All over the floor,
Spoken by brothers four.

They get me on a laughing spree
They kid and then
Proceed to wreck somebody's home.
Who's my favorite vex-pain?

Who is it, Groucho or Chico?
Sly guy is standing there
Sparkling eye, lecherous honcho--
Eyebrow-elevator moves.
Audacious brows, boy!
Sucks up to friends
To garner their welcome cheer
Highjinks from mustached gnome.

Italian spoof
Spews crack-up lines,
And he could bang
Piano real fine.
Hottest-tempered of the four--
What do you think he's yelling for?
Yet he gives Harpo leeway,
Even gives him a home.

Mum Harpo is his "special" friend,
But watch him use his wondrous hands--
Strum his music tool, boy!
Just look at them go,
Flying through glissandos.

Then there's the one who sometimes carps--
Plays the foil
He is the bold straight man, named Zeppo--
Wooden, kind of a pain.

I vote for Groucho, though Chico
Was a standup man,
And crazy, clothes-mangling Harpo
Was a studly, horny guy.
Audacious clown-boys--
Forget the Zep--
With writing so well-done. Hear!
No pies or custard thrown.