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Song Parodies -> "Babble of New Cue L'ar"

Original Song Title:

"Battle of New Orleans"

Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"Babble of New Cue L'ar"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

[Banjo-solo intro; played the banjo-player from "Deliverance," a dead ringer for Dubya]

Well before 2000, his tongue started to slip
Perhaps he got brain damage 'cause he'd had too many sips.
His "noodle" appeared vacant, yet another term is "bean"—
Either way, his muddy blith'rin' makes him sound like he's preteen.

He ties his tongue and the blith'rin' keeps a-comin'.
He don't get high like Jenna, and his IQ's really low.
I wish in 2000 he had not been runnin'
And stayed down there in Texas, near the Gulf of Mexico.

We're sold down the river, because he is so damn dumb.
It would be best if he'd hunker down and, while at it, stay mum.
With nose held high, this preppy thinks that he's king.
He'll botch it and is sure to fail it he says anything.

He ties his tongue and the blith'ring keeps a-coming.
He's even less coherent than he was a while ago.
You hear nonsense when his mouth just keeps a-running—
There are missin' syllables, and he's muffed his lexico.

"Old Nick" Cheney says, "I think I can surmise
That this dummy wouldn't read a book placed right before his eyes."
Nick held his fire till he's in the Senate well,
Then he opened up on Vermont's son and gave him more than "hell." He. . .

Hired the son, who'd pretended he was runnin'
For president, but he's just the front man for the neos.
We're mired in war, so the "president" is mumblin',
Distractin' us from their misdeeds; we're gulled by Mephisto.

Well he rants and he lies and he panders and rambles.
Of all the rancid Bushes, he is no doubt the most slow.
His gaffes come so fast, you can't even catch 'em.
There are missin' syllables, and he's muffed his lexico.

Can't find the Canon—a bibliophobic clown.
When he gabs, he sounds like pater, also of botched-word renown.
His head is filled with mothballs; he's a chowderhead like Fine [Larry].
Every time he opens his maw, we know he's lost his mind.

They sired a son who is a blithering dummy—
A poster boy for why we should never overturn Roe.
Dad's a douchebag, and what a hag is mummy.
She missed a D&C, so now we're vexed by this bozo.

"One plus two, four."
Dumb as a door.
"It's a good war."
He's Satan's whore. . . .

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
You've gone for the throat here John. I've gotta give you 5s for quality
John Barry - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stuart. I'd love to be in the position to write no more Bush-related parodies because he's retired to Crawford to shag sheep.
Johnny D - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
YeeeEEEOWWW !!! JB, you've taken the gloves off and you're pulling no punches with this one! "and he's muffed his lexico" .... great rhymes here, I was waiting for "Texaco".
John Barry - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
JD, Texaco--so obvious, how'd I miss it? Un golpe de Texaco.
Michael Pacholek - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Hell no! We won't go! We won't die for Texaco!
Kristof Robertson - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
New Cue L'ar...didn't get it.....OHHH! I guess I'm about as bright as Mr Bush...btw, 5's of course.

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