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Song Parodies -> "Johnny Phraze"

Original Song Title:

"Sweeney Todd (Prologue)"

Original Performer:

Stephen Sondheim

Parody Song Title:

"Johnny Phraze"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Attend the tale of Johnny Phraze.
He rips your skin, and his eyes are crazed.
He'll shave your cartilage and then,
You'll never walk correctly ever again.
He'll raze your rent, and you won't praise
Doc. Johnny Phraze,
The demon butcher of the knee.

He'll score that torn tissue right down,
After which you'll hobble around town.
Patronize him if you are depraved--
You will not be sanguine after you've been shaved
By Johnny,
By Johnny Phraze,
The D.M. butcher of the knee.

Swing your razor wide,
Johnny, as you delve inside.
Deeply go in, cut, but first anesthetize.
What will you do while you're in there?
And did you have your morning dog hair,
A mug of suds before you will chop?
Please hold your hand steady--you're starting to lop.
The abattoir provides a phrase
For Johnny Phraze,
The demon butcher of the knee.

Not meticulous Johnny was,
Quick at slicing the demon was,
Cracking a smile, slurring his words. . .
Had he had seconds on round--even thirds?
Johnny wandered and Johnny rammed,
Into the ACL he slammed.
Johnny was crude, cuttin' the muscles,
Johnny dug like hogs hot for truffles.
Johnny was crude, cuttin' the muscles,
Johnny with tense tendons had tussles.
Johnny was crude, cuttin' the muscles,
Johnny with ligaments had scuffles.
Johnny was crude, cuttin' the muscles,
Johnny let rip the red corpuscles.
Johnny was crude, cuttin' the muscles,
Johnny treats tissue like shucked mussels.

Johnny! Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!
Johnny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny Phraze.

Attend the tale of Johnny Phraze.
He rips your skin when his eyes are glazed.

What happens then--you go away.
He "fixed" you in Feb.--you're still not walking in May.

Thanks, Johnny,
That's, Johnny Phraze,
The D.M. butcher of the. . .
Knee. . . .

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - April 09, 2008 - Report this comment
you'tre quite the cut-up...nicely "phrazed"
John Barry - April 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin.
littleCupCakes - April 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir John, ~Le Marquis du Butcherie~ You're just a pain in the knee!!

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