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Song Parodies -> "Meat Swells"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Meat Swells"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

This scenario takes place prior to the 1984 breakup of the AT&T telecom monopoly, affectionately known as "Ma Bell."
Meat swells, Ma Bell
Sends my slurred-word breath clear as a bell.
My meat swells.

Meat swells, Ma Bell
Sonne mes mots qui sont obscène; je tremble.
Je vien, je tremble!

[Sounds of heavy breathing]
That's what I want to say.
Through switches and relays
I will say to you some bonely words that
Tool up the gland.

I speak to, I speak to, I speak to
You; I can't take a peek.
I wish you could see me—
Uphill for you and sloping to
The nose of my mien.

I call you.

I grunt through, I grunt through, I grunt through
The lines that link our towns.
Like me, they're never down.
Uphill for you; still swelling; hewn
With tool of my hand.

I will say those bonely words that grow fat
My thund'ring man. My meat swells.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment

I thought I was
The ban-avoidance king
But I've just handed my ban-maul crown to him!
mac - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
"Bonely words"... ha, ha, ha.
alvin rhodes - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
a tender ballad, to be sure...5s
John Barry - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, JD, mac, alvin.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Pacing's well-done on a difficult song to spoof effectively: including some appropriate French that resembles the original lines was a clever touch (no pun intended). I don't particularly like sex songs, but this one wasn't half bad: 5-4-5.

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