Fresh mutt roasting on an open fire,
Hacked off, tips of spiny toes.
Drool I, feral; creeping tongue will aspire
For roast, mess: pup--I've dressed Fido.

A repast for schmoes is turkey;
I'll be givin' toasts to delightful seasoned 'nine.
Fido's hot, with his thighs all aglow--
I can hardly wait till we dine.

Although I's sad to have to slay
My bring-a-tossed-stick boy;
So good he'll be flambé.
A gen'rous mutter pile--
I feast my eye.
I could eat reindeer--
Really, though, chow is Fi-

And -do. I'm offering my guests a plate.
They think that lunch is fine-meat stew.
And so Fido's dead, fancy* dining awaits. . .
Wednesday, kittens they'll chew.


*dog fancy, term describing the group of people interested in and active in the promotion of purebred dogs; cat fancy: collective term for those involved in competitively breeding, exhibiting, and judging cats.