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Song Parodies -> "That’s A Moiré"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"That’s A Moiré"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. In computer graphics, a moiré (pronounced “moray” in English) is a visible distortion resulting from a variety of conditions; for example, when scanning halftones at a resolution not consistent with the eventual printed resolution or when superimposing curved patterns on one another. Internal monitor misalignment can also be a cause. The term comes from the French "moirer" (to water) and is used to express a rippled, water-like look, which is often a desired artistic effect. In textiles, a moiré is a fabric with a wavy (watered) appearance, caused by varying the tension in the warp and weft of the weave. In physics, a moiré pattern is an interference pattern created, for example, when two grids are overlaid at an angle, or when they have slightly different mesh sizes.

When the view hits your eye
Like a zig and zagging dye--
That’s a moiré.
When the whorls seems to shine
Like you’ve imbibed cheap wine--
That’s a moiré.

Yellow things are not regist’ring, into pink blending,
And you’ll think, violet hellish!
“Argh!” you’ll say, “Edges start to fray till they’re tinged with gray
And they’re vilely embellished!”

When the hots turn to cools,
It’s like you’ve shot up ampoules
Of a morphine.
When you glance and can see
Like you’re on LSD, your eyes bug.
Then you’re lost in a dream,
You’ve thought, and you see scheming a moray.
Blues and greens appear; sheens then careen in between--
That’s a moiré.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
That was brilliant, John! I'm seeing five moirés...
AFW - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Intellectually beyond my realm, but with your definition, I can tell it's tops
Jason - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
I think this was brilliant. I love the way you fitted Moiré into the title as I know it is pronounced as "More-RAY". Anyway don't get too fuzzy on the 555s here!
TJC - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo the other's crys of "Brilliant!"... but find myself wondering about the 'varying tensions in the warp and weft' and/or 'internal misalignment' of the mind that created it! At any rate, that's five more, eh?!
John Barry - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mark, AFW, Jason (good point: you have to shift the accent to "more" to make this work), TJC.
Jim Rotondo - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Incredible parody, got some LSD flashbacks, and what are the odds that we both used "zig and zagging" on the same day's entries? Youzza!
Invisible Boy - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved it John. It brought back some memories I can't remember.
As far as "varying the tension in the warp and weft of the weave", we own a loom that bought in Harrisville NH (I know that you know where that is) and I can warp and weft with the best of them.
MadameDeWarp - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Some irateJacks just don't realize when they've been 'warped' . . . but LSD between your knees ? Come now, Sir Sweaty ! !
A Moiré-shelled Turtle - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
In parody, a moiré is caused by superimposing various themes, definitions, and tensionings. Agree that the extreme Weft is warped in this country. Fives for the intro alone.
alvin - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
love the quirky concept and LSD reference
Below Average Dave - April 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Very simple idea that, I too, can't believe no one had done, and to the only Dean Martin song I like.
Phil Alexander - March 13, 2021 - Report this comment
I was just looking at a picture of a kitten in front of a picture of that kitten showing on a computer screen (in front of another, and back a few more.. I've been getting carried away), and the screen has a moiré pattern... and I thought "I bet someone has done That's a Moiré", and sure enough :-)

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