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Song Parodies -> "Old Lady Who’d Swat Not a Fly"

Original Song Title:

"Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Old Lady Who’d Swat Not a Fly"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

There was an old lady who’d swat not a fly,
And I know why she’d swat not that fly:
Eyes on her spy.

There was an old lady who had deep inside ’er
A simpering son; she’s a whimper derider.
Though he was inside, off the handle she’d fly,
And I know why off of it she’d fly:
She’s polar, bi-.

There was an old lady who’d eat like a bird
Stuffed by her worthless son—that’s absurd!
No swallows, no GERD, because inside ’er
The hollowed intestines were shriveled dry.
Mommy’s a mummy; son made her die:
He’s polar, bi-.

There was an old lady who’d shot not a gat
’cause a gat wasn’t where she’s at.
She’d shot not a gat at pretty birds,
By “birds” I mean girls that don’t delight ’er;
What don’t delight ’er is going to die
By a knife; gats didn’t catch her eye:
A shiv she’d ply.

There was an old lady who was in a fog,
Brain-befogged as Norm, called a dog.
She called him a “dog,” though not a “rat”;
She said he’s a “brat” when he’d averred
She would be “interred”; he’d have to hide ’er
Down with the spiders, so no one could spy,
Such as the guy with curious eye
Who had to die.

There was an old lady dressed like a Hausfrau;
This crazed Hausfrau belonged in hoosegow.
Dressed as a Hausfrau, she went agog,
But when agog she had not a gat
She didn’t use that to slay the birds.
She was quite disturbed; came time to hide ’er.
After they’d hide ’er, then prying psych eyes
Watching who’d sliced up gals and a guy.
What’s her reply?

There was an old lady who followed this course,
In voice that’s hoarse,
With no remorse:
Blame Norm, of course!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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The Brad Hatter - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment
That's more like it. Never leave a story incomplete. 5s ;-)
Old Man Ribber - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment
JAB - Cue the Bernard Hermann string music! Ready with the chocolate syrup! Is it any wonder that Janet Leigh's daughter became the Scream Queen of Hollywood? Hitch would be very pleased with this. And oh yes...Martin - DO be careful on the steps this time! ;D
AFW - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Another tricky and neat new angle on the old classic...
Rob Arndt - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice follow-up. I Bates this... um rate this-555!

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