-> "He Is the Scary Model of the Worst Attorney Genera"
Original Song Title:
"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Parody Song Title:
"He Is the Scary Model of the Worst Attorney Genera"
He is the scary model of the worst attorney general,
Appointed and anointed by a guy, virtual vegetable
Who can barely speak English, yet this imbecile's emphatical.
When gray matter was handed out, they both were on sabbatical.
Alberto's gamine-like and can gab with some skills grammatical;
His procurer's the poster boy for faux pas phonotactical.
Appointment of Alberto, addled schmoe, was shocking awful news;
He makes one pine for Johnny A., also a swine with awful views.
Appointment of Alberto, addled schmoe, was shocking awful news.
Where do they find this kind of slime with rhinal clues of offal ooze?
Dub's speech is garbled--gargles with marbles in mouth of gargoyle puss.
Al isn't mute, can elocute, though he's not quite as garrulous.
In short, a mad war criminal appointed a dwarf imbecile
To be AG; his name's A.G.; he's the acme of risible.
A short dwarf dumbbell was propelled to act as the new sentinel
Of the land's laws by one who doesn't do the act of sentient well.
I'm sure that pundits and others have been struck by the paradox
Of craning in the Justice henhouse and exclaiming: "There's a fox!"
Somewhat like Aesop, lopped-off Alberto's also a fabulist;
His tales are tall as he is small, while Aesop was a moralist.
The chorus orchestrated against Al's become a symphony;
Even the GOP's starting to see AG's a simp phony.
Some say he looks like Mini-Me; others decree: a mincing bore.
One thesis: must needs "Theseus" this grinning mini Minotaur.
He's short; so might his term be; place in history: ephemeral.
Can one legitimately Dub him "worst attorney general"?
Mitchell, not hirsute, under his suit wore a brown-hued uniform,
And Iran-Contra sponsor, Meese, forged Ron's adventures, true to form.
Despite their crimes, they didn't cry; each had a pair of genitals.
Al's smirky, smarmy, sniv'ling, snide, and fawningly deferential.
Despite their crimes, they didn't cry, were nonetheless pestilential.
Al's smirky, smarmy, sniv'ling, snide; his fawning bests exponential.
Al whines and shines us on; he's not nigh sublime in his cavilin'.
Support for this whore as for the war is coming unravelin'.
When Al is sworn before the Congressional commissariat,
Will we see revealed how he'll squeal just like a cornered scaredy rat?
Al's gonna bawl concurrently as bungl-er and bungl-ee.
This new patsy will learn that laws of politics are jungl-y.
They'll let Al be distraction for infractions, and unhaltingly
They'll keep him danglin' then hang him in wind to twist Haldemanly.
Remove the "z" and I see what seems a good cognomen ta me--
"Al's gone" anagrammatic'lly. . .a scheming caught gnome. . .meant ta be.
We're facing many challenges in the 21st century,
But Al is and his pals aren't up to them, morally or mentally.
Successive administrations must face the huge excremental
Pile left by Dub, Dick, Karl, et al., and this attorney general.
The moral of this story: when you score a legal sentinel,
It's best to pick someone who won't be worst attorney general.
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|How Funny: ||2.5|
|Overall Rating: ||2.5|
|Total Votes: ||27|
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