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Song Parodies -> "Ally Handjo’"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Ally Handjo’"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

You know that I am hung,
And I love how you cuff me.
And I can be with you like this for days, weeks, scores,
Ally Handjo’.

You’ve got both hands on my rocket—
My dream is coming true,
Cream is coming due.

You pry above mi bolsita;[1]
You’re in my man grove with your fingers—
Up, down, you.

You show that you love this boy. . .
Hot, my flexed pico,[2] the joint.
At this point, it’s ’bout to ooze. . .
Nuts mix I’ll lose.

Oh, maul my stake, Ally Handjo’!
Oh, maul my snake, ¡A la mano![3]
My shot will strafe,
My shot will strafe the techo.[4]

Don’t wanna kiss, just want a touch,
Just stroke one bigerect, then gush.
Oh, maul my stake, Ally Handjo’!
Oh, maul my snake !ah, frotando¡[5]

¡A la mano!, Ally Handjo’
Ally-Ally Handjo’
¡A la, a la mano!

(Don’t stop, please—I’m set to go, Ally Handjo’, just whet me so!)

Cease that strokin’?
Are you jokin’?!!
With lust I’m crazy.
I’m your boyfriend—ply that hand, must pry that gland!
That maul’s aflame and yearns for more fin-
gers gripping it tight, that’s right—make that tool be glad.

It blows at last—what joy!
Shot, my flexed pico, the joint,
At this point, it’s ’bout to snooze.

“Buffet the cooze!”

[3]by hand

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Matthias - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
While you didn't parody the whole song this one was still pretty fun and it's cool to see a Lady Gaga song done by John A Barry because you normally do 60s and 70s hits.
TJC - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
As a LOL-inducing lexpert, you've *so* got these fives coming...
< ! ! ! > - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
! ! ! = SenorPico ~ SirBore oNine = ! ! !
UnKnownVO - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
- T O O L ~ O N SirSweaty !
Tomas Tortuga - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
DKTOS, can't stand LGG, but love multi-LINGUAL parodies! ... But are you sure that "Pico Boulevard" in Los Angeles is "c*ck* Blvd"? It's a major thoroughfare from downtown almost to the beach, so there are going to be a lot of very surprised Angelenos.

Main meanings are "beak" or "mouth", from the verb "picar" = to bite. Much lower and more specific meaning for the peak of a mountain. Besides, after all those times I've enjoyed "pico de gallo" sauce on my tacos (heh!), I think I'll never eat it again now... ("Chicken's beak" -- yours makes it a chicken part on which I think I'll paso, graciias.)

Cinco pingas a Vd. (formally, "pene", but that's the slang I've most often heard -- might be regional/Cuban/Mexican).
John Barry - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Matt. Didn't finish it because the rest is just endless repetition. Her stuff is lyrically lame, but it's got a great beat, and the videos are beautifully made.

TJC: You are too kind, thanks.

UKV: I will.

TT: I don't really know any Spanish, but per my Oxford, pico is vulgar Chilean slang for c**k.
TT - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
There's an Oxford Spanish Dictionary? Wonder why they used the Univ. Of Madrid rules in my college Spanish?
  Well, as many diff Spanish-speaking countries and dialects as there are, it's not surprising that Chilean is different from (all the rest). Still, having lived inj the LA area, you can imagine my surprise! (go to a map site and look up Pico Blvd. lol)

Not buying the "DK Spanish". ¡You knew enough to put the inverted exclamation mark first, heh! ... and have said before that you speak (IIRC) Spanish, French, and German. ... Sorry, John, I can't remember where I left my car keys, but I remember that! :)
Old Man Ribber - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
JAB - Not even your unrivaled talents will interest me in Lady Gaga music...but I'll always take your parodies on Blind Faith (now there was one hell of a group!). Echoing the TTurtle - Su Espanol estan (wrong conjugaton?) muy bueno mi amigo! ;D
UnKnownVotrix - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
2nd View : . . . . this is simply nuts, PirateJack de Rut und Cud ! ! ~Mixed Nuts~ Liev Dearest ?
UnKnownVotrix - September 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Big AL HungJo ? ?
Tomas Tortuga @ OMR - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Not only the wrong conjugation, but the wrong verb. :)
Familiar would be "estás"; formal or respectful, "está".
But "estar" is for temporary conditions (It's hot today.)
For permanent conditions or characteristics, use "ser". Formal: "es", familiar, 'eres"
MadameDeTokerville - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Captain Jack, now that you've 'dropped anchor' in TokerVille, enjoy your weekend, Senor Bore oNine ! !

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