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Song Parodies -> "Porn-Groom Feller"

Original Song Title:

"Fortune Teller"

Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Porn-Groom Feller"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Years ago I worked briefly as a copyeditor in the adult-mag industry, and "Chicago" was our bible when it came to dealing with some of the dreck we published. Otherwise this is not autobiographical.
Editor: porn-groom feller
Employs his pencil red
To fix stories none too stellar
About two misses kissing in a bed.

He doesn't have a single qualm
About making grammar conform.
Because he's in "Chicago"'s* thrall.
"This stuff sucks!"

He said, "In fact, it really blows;
I'm not happy with this worthless prose
About a litany of swives
By husbands cheating on their wives."

He swept through with a fury,
Crossing every T and dotting I's,
But then he discovered:
Something was dangling right before his eyes.

No worry that it's a gerund--
That he could plainly see,
But it concerned a part of the body.
Grabbed his tool. . .graphite grappled he.

His pencil struck it:
The participle he did move
To where it modified "Compelled her
To yell, '. . .my groove!!'"

Now he's a happy feller
Because he's become a porn-view'n' sweller.
He's as jacky as he can be,
And he gets his porn not sold, but free!


*University of Chicago Manual of Style


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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow, John, both you and I hitting the Stones today! Tough song to do, but, as always, you pulled it off brilliantly!!! Loved it.
AFW - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Good porning, John
Andy Primus - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Good one - I like your use of obscure words. I haven't seen gerund used since I was in English class in the 70's
TJC - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Pro-vocative! I'd like to know about your other past 'secrete' careers!
John Barry - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mark, AFW, Andy, TJC.
alvin - February 26, 2009 - Report this comment
lol....this cracked me up

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