Song Parodies -> Lawyers, Gum, and Mommy
| Original Song Title: | "Lawyers, Guns, and Money" |
| Original Performer: | Warren Zevon |
| Parody Song Title: | "Lawyers, Gum, and Mommy" |
| Parody Written by: | John A. Barry |
This one dates back to the Afghan war. . ."Jihad Johnny," John Walker Lindh, a Marin moron caught fighting with the Taliban.
Lawyers, Gum, and Mommy
I went out feeling weightless.
That's what fasting will do.
How was I to know
They'd make me start rushin' you?
I was rambling in Khandahar;
I took a little risk.
Send lawyers, gum, and mommy,
Dad, get me out of this.
I'm an innocent bystander,
But somehow I got stuck
Between Iraq and a hard-to-pronounce place.
Oh, I was a dumb shmuck.
Yes, I was a dumb shmuck.
Now I'm pleading my ignorance.
I'm a messed-up young man.
Send lawyers, gum, and mommy,
I think shit my pants.
I went out feeling weightless.
That's what fasting will do.
How was I to know
They'd make me start rushin' you?
I was rambling in Khandahar;
I took a little risk.
Send lawyers, gum, and mommy,
Dad, get me out of this.
I'm an innocent bystander,
But somehow I got stuck
Between Iraq and a hard-to-pronounce place.
Oh, I was a dumb shmuck.
Yes, I was a dumb shmuck.
Now I'm pleading my ignorance.
I'm a messed-up young man.
Send lawyers, gum, and mommy,
I think shit my pants.
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Hey Mister Taliban, tally me Afghana, John-ee Walker Lindh-ee shoulda stayed home.
JD, you've got one going.
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