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Song Parodies -> "Urge for Groping"

Original Song Title:

"Urge for Going"

Original Performer:

Joni Mitchell

Parody Song Title:

"Urge for Groping"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I awoke today and found, I was pawing-bound.
I covered up with clothes my thighs,
Then I hobbled into town.
Wanted to a maiden hold
And get a squeeze was my fondest frottaging hope.
I get the urge for groping,
But I never seem to grope.

I get the urge for groping
When a head-grow lass is walking ’round
In a crowd, but then I’m cowed,
My digits not closing in.

The thought of grabbing is sublime. . .
Hands on fabric on skin.
I thinks such thoughts. . .can’t keep it down,
Can barely keep it in.
Push comes to shove, I’ve found:
I can’t put my hand on, nope.
I get the urge for groping,
But I never let ’em grope.

I get the urge for groping
When a head-grow lass is bending down;
I get wound, but fist is bound—
My digits not clothes lifting.

I’m a worrier that fingers on ladies will cause them to shout
To police they’ll be crying. . .I ain’t even hanging out.
So, no goose there’ll be tonight—
Nope, I don’t want to go down that slippery slope.

I’ve got the urge for groping,
But unlike the Pope’s troops, I won’t grope.

I’ll nix the urge for groping—
Touch no threads, hose, gams, tits—squirming mounds.
Slumping, I’m crawling out of town,
My digits not clothes shifting.

I’ll ply my spire with fingers now;
I’ll pull the wank-it up toward my chin.
I’ll lock on. . .play-with sprit is stout. . .
Enfold the warming skin.
I strike my maul—then, sodden clime.
My burgeoned way has culminated—where’s the soap?
The urge for auto-groping,
And I finally got to grope.

I got the urge for groping.
So I shed those pants. . .to the ankles down.
Thus mauled, my spent spire’s falling down.
That wick urge. . .growing again.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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User Comments

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AFW - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Excellent write on an almost Too-True-To-Be-Funny, parody... a priestly confession,
< ! ! ! > - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
SirSweaty, a bit heady today, eh?
< ! ! ! > - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
. . . play your Digit-doo-doo, Jack, . . . please tie this KangaRoo down, Sir ! !
Fiddlegirl - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Terrific title switch and concept... 555 :)
FroTTeur - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Sounds like we both had the same problem today, but found different "solutions". (Ewe should try it sometime!) ... ZING! @ the Pope's troops! Five fingers, three hands, wherever you'd like to place them!
UnKnownVotress - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
PirateJack, yes, you better crawl out of town, FAST, grabbing your most ~unPopeful Digit~ with you, SirSweaty !
John Barry - July 21, 2010 - Report this comment
AFW: Thanks.

! ! !: Sweaty, heady, and ready to parody.

FG: Thanks!

FroTTeur: Ay, there's the rub.

UKV: I'm on my way.
HamleTT - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
GREAT comeback, John! My turn to be awed!

"You creep! Her pants, you cream; ay, there's the rub
For in that subway's stealth, what reams may come
As you have muffed and boffed, her portal, oiled
Lust, give your paws."

Would finish that off -- so to speak -- into a full-fledged "Hamlet" on your topic, but it's late and I'm tired, so you may have it, should you like.
LadyKanga - August 05, 2010 - Report this comment
SirSweaty, ~Le Marquis MatterHorn ~ This makes me want to 'do some Roping ' . . . . as in tie your kangaRoo down !

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